Your mom is so fat that she enjoys junk food regularly.

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how do you wake up lady gaga you poke her face

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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why did the girl say what's up. she wanted to know what they were doing

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Roses are red Violets are blue I forgot to go to the bathroom

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Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

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Q. What's yellow and looks like a duck? A. a baby duck

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rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

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[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says, "It is quite hot in here." This is a lie. Neither of the muffins spoke because in reality, Muffins are not only inanimate objects, they are not humans, and therefore they do not have the ability to speak in a comprehensible language.

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When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There I no road.

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What do you get if you give a black man more than 5 watermelons? Jeff the Killer.

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why did the two girls fight? Because they were mad at eachother.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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ass.

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You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

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A middle-aged white woman is walking toward a building, talking on her cellphone to a friend. She says, "Yes, I can meet you for lunch in a few hours. I have to go to the unemployment office to sign up for benefits. It's going to be horrible. It'll probably be full of black people." Standing in line, she is incredibly uncomfortable and horrified, because there is a black man right behind her, and she is stuck standing next to him for a long time. Finally it's her turn, and she steps up to the counter. The clerk asks her, "And what did you do for a living?" She answers, "I mopped the floors and cleaned the bathroom in a Blockbuster store that closed down." The clerk says, "Fill out this paperwork and take it to window #2." As she turns around, she is once more repulsed by the black man who is standing right there. Now that it's his turn, he steps to the counter, and the clerk asks him, "And what did you do for a living?" He answers, "I was the senior vice president of global strategic development for Eastman Kodak."

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Why was the pig sweating? It wasnt, because pigs have adapted by using behavioral thermoregulation, which is the act of cooling themselves in the mud or water.

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What did the man say to the drug dealer? I'd like some drugs

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Teacher- And that is why the Pythagorean theorem only works for RIGHT triangles. Any questions? Student- I like grapes.

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A white rapper. HAHAHAHAHAHA oh ya he was muslim.

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im gunna build a lego house what shud i make it out of

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What do you call a black man repairing a car? A mechanic who has worked very hard to gain his qualifiaction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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