What's worse than finding a band aid in your Crock-pot? Finding a Crock-pot in your band aid.

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Mirror mirror on the wall. Why can't I see?

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? A treadmill... did I mention he was kinda fat?

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What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

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Violets are Blue, Roses are Red, skip the bull$%!#, and give me head

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O'Malley, an Irishman; Adam, a Jew; and Patrick, a gay man, walk into a bar. Oh crap. I just outed Patrick.

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If your uncle helped you off An horse, would you help your uncle jack off an horse?

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Why couldn't the girl brush her hair? Because she had leukemia

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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What is more dangerous than heroine? T.J. Lane

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melon

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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Ill do a lot more than just try you, anyways, technically I learned to play the piano as a kid, but now I play on a small cheap keyboard (the musical kind) and sincerely, I kinda suck at it now, my abusive parents expected perfection beat the shit out of me blahblahblah, thats really all of it, trauma. My senses, well, when I was a kid I was terrified of gravity (one of the rarest fears in the world) because I had no idea I was consciously shifting things myself. So lets say... If I somehow end up hanging upside down, I just shift it, so my brain believes I am not and I experience no discomfort, there is a lot more to it, ill tell you, damn nose wont stop bleeding and my waifu got a bit scared, she got some bad bronchitis and she still has not recovered a 100 percent, but its just the cough now though... Lets just say that my ability to balance, is about 300-500 percent higher than any regular human, and that I can stand on one leg enough to beat the guiness record book 50 times... ...IIIIF I was in good shape, which I am not.

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How many Catholics does it take to change a light bulb? None. They use candles

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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hardy har har.. i should be working on a school project right now!!

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Whats funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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What's funnier than an knock knock joke???? Dancing narwhals pooping talking soup

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One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

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<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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hi

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How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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