why did the cow die because she ate poisoned apple pie

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Two Jews walk into a bar. They have a lengthy discussion regarding the hardships their people have suffered throughout history. Eventually, the subject changes to which coffee franchise has the best blend. A clear, concise decision is never reached. They then are asked to leave the bar, as they have not ordered any drinks and the bar is for paying customers only.

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Why does Santa Clause say Ho Ho Ho? He has Tuberculosis.

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A man walks into a bar. He is genetically predisposed to alcoholism, and it's destroying his family.

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A duck walks into a bar he buys a drink and says To the bartender "Put it on my bill." the duck is charged With $800.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread, and loaves of bread are incapable of understanding the intricacies of fly-by-wire guidance and propulsion systems.

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What's worse then forced to eat frog legs? Xbox one

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This is a sentence. This is also a senctence.

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*******A CELL JOKE******* Mommy Ribosome and Daddy Mitochondria are watching baby nucleus play around in the cytoplasm, when all the sudden baby nucleus falls down and breaks its cell wall. Mommy ribosome is like freaking out like, "OH NO< WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO WE NEED TO TAKE HER TO THE E.R.". Then Daddy Mitochondria says, "The smooth ER or the rough ER???"

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why did the little kid fall off the rollercoaster? His dad threw him off.

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the doctor says to the patient " i have some good news and some bad news" the patient says well what is it dock " well the good news is your fine " the patient asked what the bad news was and the doctor said " i lied about you being fine you have aids, and testicular cancer and you have 2 days to live"

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How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke her face

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Q:Why did the chicken cross the road A:He didn't he was tortured then killed and turned into a sandwich that you can buy for the price of $1.00

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Whatsup?! Your grandpas chance of dying.

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How did the boy die in the holocaust? Cancer

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A fat guy. - Louis

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ow

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Sweet! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> Minecraftcodes.info <

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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oh no, i've lost my tractor

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How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

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Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? It is rapidly becoming outdated and most cellphones these days have the time, but if they like the style they are free to use one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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