Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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"What happened to John after he got drunk 12 years ago"- police "I don't really don't know that question"- John Jr.

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A chronic hemophiliac walks into a bar. He cuts his leg and bleeds to death.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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"What do you call a man who has bumblebee wings and fire for blood?" (The doctor on the other line has no answer. Tom desperately weeps into the phone, trying to grasp his sudden transformation. He finds no reassurance, and hangs up the phone.)

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I would rather live in a world a chicken's motives would not be questioned.

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Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Chuck Noris

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Do you have emotional issues, ever have a really bad day and just wanna talk call this number (402-314-5287) < N1GGER

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What's worse than dropping an ice cream cone? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Dropping two ice cream cones.

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what is the difference between a park bench and a black guy? the park bench is an inanamite object and doesn't have feelings

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Q: What do you call a man from south korea? A: I don't know, but I'm not letting him drive my car.

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Roses are red, viotels are blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A fast car that's painted red and green...

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What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

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Why didn't Kurt Cobain drive to work on Monday? He killed himself.

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What did the blind football player say to his coach? I cant see

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Not again!"

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Printing billions of counterfeit dollars...in ones.

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Why do people like anti jokes? Because their f****** funny as hell

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What's the difference between a Green Grocers and Fighter pilot! One flys a plane and one sells food.

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My aunt said slow and steady wins the race....... She died in a fire

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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*Knock knock! "Who's there?" "Jehovah's witness" .....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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