What did the homeless man do with his trolley full of aluminium cans, He took them to the scrapyard and sold them as this is his only source of income right now

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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a person smokes weed... and gets high

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Erica is so sexy i want to hump her

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Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

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What do ghosts get whaen they watch porn ? a boner

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A man walks into a bar, he has a terrible drinking problem and he is ruining his family.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

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What is worse than the holocaust? World War III.

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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What's neon green and has 69 legs? Nothing that I know of, but it would be an interesting creature

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why was the pen lonely? because it didn't have a pen pall

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Barack Obama walks into a bar. He's black.

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

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Why couldn't Jenny speak right? Cause she had autism.

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

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What are pirate movies rated ? P.g 13 for violence and coarse language.

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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Yo momma's so fat that all the children within a close proximity of your home think that your mother is a very large woman.

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Hey, guess what? What? Dammit!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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