You know that feeling you get when you see your crush walking towards you? No, I'm blind.

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THAT MAN EATS TOO MUCH. therefore he is overweight.

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hey bill!

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How do you fit 4 homosexuals onto a barstool? You make the barstool wider allowing for all the men to sit more comfortably on top of the stool.

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Knock knock Who's there? Death. Come with me.

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What did the kid say when his parents were killed? Nothing. He's a vegetable

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what starts with b and ends with itch pickle

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A politician from the National Country Party keeps interjecting - "I'm a country member, i'm a country member' "yes we remember" says Gough whitlam

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Once upon a time, there was a horse that had no legs, it laid on the ground it's entire life and died. The end.

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How many vampires does it take to change a lightbulb. None, Vampires do not exist

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how do you fix a family? Someone gives in

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Why did the school bus crash? The driver was a loaf of bread.

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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Cheese stick

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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Why did the little girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms..

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Whats the difference imbetween a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to hit with a sledge hammer an the other is a watermelon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Idk

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whats black white and read all over a zebra bleeding to death because a zombie just attacked it and then it attackeed the zombie

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Why did the boy take the train to school? Because he lived quite far away.

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who is mark

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her repeatedly in the face and then slit her throat.

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Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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