how may i help you

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly.

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your dad's gay. just let that sink in.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Socks.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

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Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

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Knock Knock. Who's there? What's up. What's up who? The sky.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel in the front of his pants. He is given some very strange looks from the patrons both due to the fact that he has a steering wheel in his pants and because people wearing traditional pirate garb are a rarity.

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OBAMA and the DEMOCRATS

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Knock knock. Who's there? Louis. Louis? Go away!!! Your jokes are so bad! Geez, you guys really don't like me. GET OUT!!! (Door slams; Louis shuffles away with a sad look on his face) -Louis

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What do you get when a bulldog and shitzu reproduce? A litter of extremely cute puppies.

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Knock knock. Whose there? Not my house so not my problem. Frankly, I don't give a shit.

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*Knock Knock *Whos there? *ADD *ADD Who? *I forgot but you wana build a fort.

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Why did the pig walk into the bar Because he was thirsty

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AIDS

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There was Jew, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Mexican guy at the store. The store was called Walmart.

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How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

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Why was the boy's face red? He put his cat in a blender.

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What's funnier than a comedic movie? Genocide

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Where did Little Sally go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you accent is really not hiding it

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What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney? Nothing chimneys don't talk

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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