What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

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A man walks into a bar...... He then wakes up in a hospital. along with a large bruise on his forehead.

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You know what's really funny? Cancer What's funnier than that? The Holocaust Even funnier? Charlie Sheen

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Q: Whats worse than dropping your ice cream? A: Dropping two ice creams. Q: Whats worse than dropping two ice creams? A: The Holocaust. Q: Whats worse than the Holocaust? A: Dropping three ice creams.

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Penis.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones... and my pistol will kill you.

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An apple a day keeps a check next to the "I ate an apple today" box on my "what I did today" daily checklist.

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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Why did the rabbit jump? Because that's what rabbits do.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Tell her to inform the police that her significant other is assaulting them and that she should file a restraining order.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a terrorist.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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*DRRRRIN* Finally someone uses the doorbell.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing, animals are in capable of formal cumunication.

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What dud the baseball player do when he struck out? Walked back to the bench

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Are you gay? No. Ok.

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Two people are walking down the street, unaware of the highly polluted environment and that they could save a life.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

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Why didn't the black guy where a seat belt? I don't know but he should've because hes dead.

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Q: What has eyes but can't see, has arms but no hands and legs but no feet A: a blind man with his hands and feet amputated with cancer

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There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's

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The cat climbed a tree. It didn't want to come down, so it starved to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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