When Michael Jackson was making his last son, he named him Blanket... he was cold.

Q: What has eyes but can't see, has arms but no hands and legs but no feet A: a blind man with his hands and feet amputated with cancer

How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

sometimes i wonder why is the frisbee getting bigger? then it hits me

Oh wow, I've never seen one that big before. Thats what the 12 year old boy said as he starred at the the Great Pyramid of Pharaoh Khufu.

how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

Why did the mother tell her son to get a job. She was tired of buying Generic brand food.

Q: How do you call a group of animals? A: Llama.

What do you call a special Ed walrus? Anorexic pony ???? Discovering that a convicted sex offenderi is living nearby stirs up a range of feelings: fear, anger, insecurity and anxiety. There are many things you can do to make the situation more manageable - and channel these emotions into actions that address situations that put children most at risk for sexual harm. Learn how to identify the most common threats and concerns. Then find out the best ways you can join with others to keep everyone safe. Take action! Learn how to keep children safe Get the FAQs about the sex offender registryi Download our Tip Sheet:  Concerned about Sex Offenders in Your Neighborhood?

What did the little boy get for christimas? Nothing because he's a selfish asshole.

What did the black man do with the white mans stolen bike? He returned it after finding it outside a local shopping mall.

How do you get 100 Jews into a car? ...Nevermind, it wouldn't work.

Hey guess what! We're birthday buddies! May 3rd.. Yeah that's why you should give me 5 bucks.

8====D~~~~~~

O.J. Simpson. What would you do in that situation?

What do you call a dog eating a dead dog? A hungry dog

> Why wasn't the chicken able to cross the road? > Because he had severe autism and was Ambulophobic.

What goes up and does not come down? Why the hell ask me.

A man with short term memory loss loses his memory every day. His last memory before his accident is the day he escaped this hostpital and murdered a family of five. He continues to do this every day and he is known in Mexico as cincochico.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Why do pokemon have hair? because they have no balls

How do you like your eggs in the morning? -Poached or Fertilised?

Why was the Mexican in pain? Someone hit him with a frying pan 5 times across the face.

Three politicians walk into a sports bar. Suddenly, everyone is watching the Stanley Cup playoffs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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