What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Dad what does negligence mean? SHUT THE FUCK UP KID! I TOLD YOU TO NEVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN!

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot.

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Why did Susan fall out a tree? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Susan

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Q:what do you call a black man flying a plane? A: a pilot

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Why couldn't the blonde bride make it to her own wedding? She had another unplanned circumstance occur and the wedding was postponed until next week.

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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65% of people are starving 32% are over 190 lbs. Think about it

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS? What's worse then TEN HOLOCAUSTS? THE END OF THE WORLD

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You have sex with her

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Terry Stockton wasn't really hit.

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What do you do if you see an alien landing? This depends entirely on the circumstances under which the landing takes place. It also depends on the observed nature of the alien,but given the high unlikelihood of this occurrence, one may be safe in the knowledge that he or she will never have to deal with such a mental state of stress.

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What is big, grey and can't climb trees? A car park.

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What did the Jew say the Black man after their meal? "Don't worry, I'll pay the bill."

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Its a bird! No, it's a plane! Oh... so it is.

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Why really answer a question when you can just respond, "because you touch yourself." For example, Q: Why did fluffy die? A: Because you touch yourself.

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Why did kurt cobain kill himself? He was experiencing heavy depression

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A Priest, A Pedofile, and a Rapist walk into a bar. He Orders A Drink

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Shut the cork up!

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What is a five letter word that sounds just like trucks? Vroom

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whats worse than 2 people dying? 3 people dying.

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What do you call a black priest? Father

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How can you spot a blind person at a nudist colony? They might be carrying a white stick, or have a guide dog or someone to help them navigate the premises.

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What did Bush say to Obama was elected? I'm going to have you assassinated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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