Why did the chicken cross the road? Jupiter is the Galaxys biggest planet!

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

How can you tell if a substance is an acid or a base just by looking at it? You can't. pH or Litmus paper would be necessary in order to determine whether a substance is an acid or a base.

What did the serial killer eat for breakfast? You.

What do the poor have that the rich need? Nothing.

Why did the homeless man get a house key cut? He didn't he's homeless.

How long did it take azaha to have a shit? Nine months

Whats the difference between a red cup and a blue cup. Ones red and the other is blue.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who's there? Alzheimers

Why is Keven's name spelled with an E Because his parents are black.

What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmicist.

Poem Of Love: Each time i see you i feel like i need you and i love you.. i hope you became my girl and live with me cause without you i can't live.

Xzibit

Patient: Doctor, I've been having a problem, I can't remember anything. Doctor: Do you think you might have amnesia, a common memory problem. Patient: What Problem?

why do all good things come to an end? that is one of the mysteries of human existance.

If I had 10 cents for every time a hobo asked for change i still wouldn't give him any money

Q:what did a keppy kid with a big nose say A:hi im josh Roberts

A woman walks into the bathroom and hears the sound of moaning. Not sure what to do she looks around and sees couples as far as the eye can see. She quickly turns to the woman and man standing next to her and asks what is going on here?! The woman says can't you read this is not a bathroom this is a public sex room! Only an idiot would ask that question. In shock the woman takes another look around and she spots someone she finds familiar. When she walks closer she finds that it is her boyfriend and that he is with another woman. Furious she walks up to him and slaps him in the face. The boyfriend looks at her and says sorry your sex just got old. Furious she says to him we never had sex!

Why did the chicken help people across the road all day? Because after past experiences the chicken decided to become a lollypop chicken and help people not make the mistakes he did

Why is Kyle so gay. Nobody knows

Q: What's Black and White and Red All Over? A: This is a logical fallacy. If something is "Red All Over," it is implied that no other color can be showing. Thus, whatever innate Black and/or Whiteness was formerly attributed to said object will now have been inherently obfuscated by its Redness.

Hey I just met you, and this is crazy! But iI'm on bath salts and your face looks tasty!

Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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