Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off and his body was never recovered. Repeat then handled the funeral planning.

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Why are black people ghetto? Because they are black.

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What do you call a blue baby at the bottom of a pool? Dead.

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Whats similar between a grape and a duck? They're both purple. except not the duck.

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A random guy walks into your house and says hi. You say SHUTUP

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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Q: What did the whale say to the other whale? A: MMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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I was visiting my grandad the other day and my phone died, I was really bored, he told me I rely too much on technology I replied with 'no you do' and Unplugged his life support

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What is pink, smelly, and sometimes gets wet? A pink sponge.

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Why did little Jimmy cry when his Rolls Royce got destroyed? Because his parents were in it.

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I spilled spot remover on my dog. Now he's wet.

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What's funnier than 24? 9/11

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What is the mexican dream? To jump the border

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What happened to those who survived the attack on Hiroshima? They were killed in Nagasaki

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Roses are red Violets are red Oh sh*t the gardens on fire

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Why was the mom crying? Her son was found in the oven.

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Your momma went to the gym, because she is fat.

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Roses are black Violets are black Im Helen Keller WWWHHAATTTTT!?!?

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Q: Why did Sara fall off the swing? A: She had no arms... Q: Knock Knock! Q: Who's there? A: NOT SARA! --- Q: Okay... What song does Sara sing to her arms? A: Somebody That I Used To Know... --- Now. If you're happy and you know it clap your... nevermind O_O

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Roses are Red Violets are plucked So are my nose-hairs Pretty disgusting

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Theres a man with 2 eyes.

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What's the difference between a jazz musician and a cheese pizza? A cheese pizza is a food and a jazz musician is a person.

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Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops