A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Can a man reproduce with only one testicle? No because girls don't dig that sh*t

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Uh, summa lumma dooma lumma you assuming I'm a human What I gotta do to get it through to you I'm superhuman Innovative and I'm made of rubber, so that anything you say is Ricochet in off a me and it'll glue to you And I'm devastating more than ever demonstrating How to give a motherfuckin' audience a feeling like it's levitating Never fading, and I know that haters are forever waiting For the day that they can say I fell off, they'll be celebrating 'Cause I know the way to get 'em motivated

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what do you call dominic rolling down a hill?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the black man fall off the building? The building was one of the twin towers and the event 9/11 was currently happening and he saw one of the planes coming at him so he decided to jump to his misery instead because he thought it will hurt less, also he thought that if he waited for the plane to hit him there is a possibility that one of the wings may hit him right on the neck and his head will get chopped off and he wanted to die with his body completely attached.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

"Hey, why won't you let me through?" "These tickets are fake." "No they aren't. LOOK OVER THERE!" The guard turns around, and then turns back. Minorly inconvenienced, he arrests the man immediately, upon which he is sent to jail and anally raped multiple times.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What has four wheels and smells like an asshole? YOU.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

8================================================================================================D-------------------------------------------- It can coil!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the pedofile say to the little girl? Nothing. She was properly supervised by her parents.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats big fat and very annoying your little brother

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Where do pimps go when they retire? Idaho.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

rose's are red, bananas are yellow, yo mama's so fat she jiggles like jello

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How much wood could the woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? A relatively small amount compared to the amount of trees in the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

yo mamma's so fat, she decided to go on a diet

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the boy embarassed at school? He got a noticable boner during class.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Knock Knock Who's there? Reality, we have come to install a doorbell.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than getting a divorce? Nuclear warfare

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the podiatrist say to the proctologist? That athletes foot fungus is clearing up nicely.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

how do you get a girl of a swing? puch her off! how do you get her friend of a swing? throw a refridgerator at her!

thumb_up thumb_down +12

why was 6 afraid of 7 He raped him the other day

thumb_up thumb_down +12

While I was walking home from school one day, James Brown jumped out of a bush and punched me in the face. Then, when I got home, there was a walrus sitting on my couch. He then turned to look at me and said, "Penis". I then immediately farted out blades of grass.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the pornstar do after the film shoot? Called her parents and said she had a good day at work as a receptionist at a law firm. She is too ashamed to admit her real profession to them. She then cried profusely.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Did you here that Hellen Keller got hit by a bus? No. Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops