I killed someone today. :D

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? Because he uses only the finest ingedients.

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Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate the mac and cheese before it was cool.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a dead moose, In my basement.

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A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

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Roses are Purple Chickens are gray I'm color blind You have cancer I'll see you in hell Ba bye now

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 2.5 million children in the world are suffering from HIV/AIDs.

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Your MUM has aids :D LOL

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why did the girl break up with her boyfriend? hes gay

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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poop

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What did the banker say to the other banker? We're both bankers!

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I hate all races.. Especially the 400 meter sprint

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Q: Why didn't the little boy get his bike for christmas? A: He died from cancer

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I had a great joke to tell you. I didn't want people stealing my ideas so I didn't write it. Haha

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Obama

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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What's the difference between a duck? Nothing, they're both the same.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.. unless you're color blind...

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jimmy carr walks into a tax office.

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Flop dog

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What did the man say to his wife right before they got married? "I do."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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