Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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Why did billy fall off the sea-saw Because he got kicked in the throat

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A rabbi walks into a bar, in traditional Jewish garb. The bartender takes one look at him and says "Sorry, you'll have to leave". The Jewish gentleman says "Why, don't you serve Jews in here?". The bartender replies "Of course we do, but we just found asbestos in the walls and we're closing for remodeling." The rabbi politely apologizes for making misplaced assumptions about the bartender's place of business.

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I'm not late, I'm fashionably tardy!!!!

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What's worse than the holocaust. I'm a Nazi so the holocaust wasn't actually that bad.

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What is scary? Obama might get reelected.

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What is the difference between a plum and an elephant? One is purple, and not an elephant.

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Q: Why isn't Michael Jordan able to jump into space with only 1 leap? A: If that were possible, the supposedly absolute laws of physics would've been irreversibly violated to the full extent that the future of science would be in trouble and the future of some already mentally-unstable people would've been deeply jeopardized to a state that they couldn't naturally recover from.

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Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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women's rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

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what do you call gingers ugly.

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What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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What are vampires favorite drink? Vampires aren't real.

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There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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What's the difference between an orange and a dead baby? One is a popular citrus fruit commonly grown in Florida, and the other is a horrible tragedy, possibly caused by miscarriage or a serial killer, who was hopefully immediately jailed for his actions.

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what does it mean when Justin Bieber sounds like a boy someones hit puberty

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A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

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men's rights.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Boo." "I don't know anyone by that name. Please go away." -Louis

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How do you make a dyke moan? Insert a BEAVER in it!

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What's the difference between a plum and bunny? They're both purple, except the bunny.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops