What has two legs and can't walk. Someone thats paralyzed!

thumb_up thumb_down -42

why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Nickleback walks into a bar..... There isn't a punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What's worse than a bad test score? Getting hit buy a train!!

thumb_up thumb_down -48

A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

there was a tomatoes and it blew up and died. Why did it blow up? The Nazi's needed ketchup for there Jew Burgers

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Whats worse than 2 holocausts? 2 and one tenth of a holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -54

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

Whats worse than sleeping on a bed of hot coals? Lupus

thumb_up thumb_down -88

So a leg, an arm and a head win the Boston marathon. And I'm sitting here masturbating, ...

thumb_up thumb_down -94

Why was the T-Rex so bad at math? Cause it was stupid

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why did the pedophile get arrested? He was driving way over the speed limit.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What is green and has weels? A green bycicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What has 4 eyes and can't see. Blind siamese twins!

thumb_up thumb_down +51

It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Suddenly the Titanic started sinking, its a shame it sunk before anyone managed to find out what it was sinking about.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What do you call a really small grape? A grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

There's two bears in the shower. One bear says "pass the soap". The other bear says "no soap. Radio".

thumb_up thumb_down +47

knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's red and goes pop? A clip art of the word "Pop"

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did John go outside? His house was on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

yo' momma's so fat that when she saw a doctor he told her that she was overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops