Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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What's black, blue and smells like fish? A dead penguin.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ow".

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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how come so many people die every year due to starvation? They don't have enough food and there aren't nearly enough spider monkeys in North America.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It can never be certain, as chickens are incapable of communicating.

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Whats worse than being a student? Being raped.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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I was going to tell my mom an anti-joke. Then she died.

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--"Do you like impressions?" -Yeah! --"Why?" ................... --"That was Socr-ates."

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What is blue and looks like a bucket? A blue bucket

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What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

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Two guys walk into a bar.

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Why did my brother drive the speed limit? Because it's the law

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Q: How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Well considering the weight of a fly is 1.2 grams, and the weight of a light bulb is 50 grams (and this is assuming that the fly can lift its own body weight) it would take 41.6 flies. But also considering the fact, that the .6th of a fly is impossible, because it is more than likely to be deceased, it is impossible for flies to screw in a light bulb.

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When's the best time to go to the dentist? There is no best time, it is based on personal opinion and depending whether or not you have a conflicting schedule

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Why did th chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Knock knock! Who's there? The chicken

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Whats very large and produces alot of seamen. The US navy

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and trampoline? Well, children jump on one to obtain enjoyment, while a pile of dead babies is a sick tragedy.

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How do you escape prison? Kill everyone in it hen once you have escaped find their families and viciously murder them. Are they going the send you back to prison? No because you will kill everyone.

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What's the difference between a whale and an elephant

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What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you? Run, 'cause she's got a grenade in her mouth!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops