Why doesn't the South Pole war veteran remember the name of his child? He is a penguin and could care less about naming his children. Why doesn't the penguin on the North Pole remember the name of his child? There are no penguins on the North Pole.

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Why was the black man escorted from the bar? Because the bartender was racist.

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A black guy and a mexican guy are in a car, Who's driving. A policeman.

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A Haitian walks into a bar. It collapses.

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how hight is a china man ? derr his name is how high and he is a china man

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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So there are 5 people on a plane the president, a movie star, and man who is on the verge of making world peace, the smartest man in the world, and the pope the piolt has a heart atack at and the plane will crash soon there are only 4 parachutes. So the first is Obama and he saysI won a Nobel piece prize and I run American see ya later and he takes the parachute next Steven hawking says sory pope Im taking this because I don't believe in God and black holes are cool so he takes the parachute and jumps out. Next Charlie Sheen says I need to entertain people and keep the drug dealers in business so he. Takes the parachute and jumps out. Then Francis turns to the hippie and says if you achive world peace it may help eliminate some poverty so you take the last paratute and jump out then the hippie says in return no its OK Steven Hawking took my back back. When they land they decide to serch for Steven's body and they find nothing. You see Steven Hawking had taken his own paratute with him and took the Hippies backpack to sell it and make some money

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What's the difference between watermelon and baby? I don't eat watermelon.

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What did the psychiatrist say to the man when he walked into his office naked and wrapped in saran wrap? The doctor prescribes him tablets to treat his bi-polar tendencies.

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Where do cows go for entertainment? Nowhere, most are slaughtered, processed, and eaten by humans.

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Knock knock Who's there? Carrot Carrot who? Carrot in the tree house, cause it's orange.

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Want to hear the best joke? Your life :,( i think i hate you?

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Why Did the one handed man cross the road? To get to the dying man on the other side

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What's worse than spending time with your girlfriend? Nothing.

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Would you believe me if i said... ^^^^ You read that line wrong?

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Me. May I come in?" "Yes, you may."

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What has two legs and is covered in red. Half a dog.

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Why did the man follow the law? He didn't want to get arrested

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I'm Donald Trump! Wump wump wump!

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Why did the chicken go up the car? To get a drink.

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What's more funny than a dead baby? A dead baby dressed like a clown.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&Ms factory? Because she slapped the boss when he made a pass at her. Afterwhich she reported the incident to her Union and the boss was fired for Sexual Harassment. She was then rehired with a substantial increase in salary.

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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Doctor: "I'm sorry, but your son has Hepatitis B. Asian Parent: "Why he has Hepatitis B? Why he not get the Hepatitis A plus?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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