Why did the man name his son David? He didn't. It was his wife's choice.

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Making a good analogy is like making a chocolate sundae; either way there are simply no reindeer left, and the glass of water you once had is now gone.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ..... he didn't

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Hey I just met you, and this seems crazy. I have Alzheimers... Hey i just met you.

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squirrels with massive bonerss

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Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. Interrupting Cow who? Interrupting Cow Jones.

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what do you call a black man on tv? an actor

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My great grandfather died in the holocaust. He fell off the guard tower.

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Two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff... ba bum BUM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA it used to be ba dum ching but im so funny that i changed it to ba dum bum. credit to Alex H

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Why was the little girl crying? Her father has been abusing her and her mother for a year now.

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why was the man's arm bleeding? Because he just got shot in the arm...

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Men's Sports

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how many A.D.D. kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?lets go play!

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why did the little boy put a bandaid on his knee. it doesn't really matter, he has cancer.

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How do you know if your teacher is gay? Ask him if he is gay.

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Hey I just met you And I am crazy So I will kill you And eat your body

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Why wasn't there an elevator in the rainforest? The rainforest is not capable of managing an elevator because an elevator does in fact require an energy source which is also not capable in a rainforest. The rainforest is filled with animals and is not filled with humans which would make having an elevator in the rainforest useless because the main use of an elevator is to transport humans. The animals in the rainforest would not be able to operate the elevator because using an elevator for them would be advance while humans using elevators is second nature.

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what is worse than finding a worm in your apple being tricked by your best friend to mule drugs over the boarder and then imprisoned in a Vietnamese jail, where you will most likely will be traded for sex and other horrid act of sodomy, only to escape and work as a sex slave to earn your way home, because that is the life you know now there is no way out you will die here.

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matty russel are you on here

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "Boy it's hot in here." The second says, "It sure is." Both muffins then faint from heat exhaustion and are eaten to death when taken out of the oven And thus tragically, the world would never know of the spectacular talking muffins.

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What do the words lightbulb and lightweight have in common? The word light is in both words. Other than that absolutely nothing.

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What did the child rapist say to the little boy? I'm going to rape you.

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Q: What's blue and fuzzy A: Blue fuzz

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What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? You aren't married to a girlfriend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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