What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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Whats small, red and white, and would kill you if shot out of a cannon? A decapitated baby

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How do you stop a baby from crying? Throw it off the top of the Empire State Building.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names

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What's black and white and red allover and can't fit through the door? A nun with a spear through her neck

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What's worse than aids? Super aids.

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What's worse than stepping on chewing gum A clown throwing bricks at orphans

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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An Iraqi, an American and an Irishman get on a plane. They all enjoy the in-flight amenities, agree that the food was sub-standard and arrive at their destinations safely.

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Two cows are standing on the top of North Pole and in a half-inch wind they're spanking a bottle of coconut jam. Suddenly two infrared gallopping fly past them. What's the consequence? That people shouldn't use freshly peeled lemoncakes on underwater cornfields.

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What is large white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A refridgerator

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what did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede!

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Yes!

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What's big, green, fuzzy, and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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An Irish man walks into his home and orders a drink.

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Q:why did the boy fall off the swing A:he had no arms Q:why couldn't he get up A:he had no legs Q:why did he die A:he fell in a puddle

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this is an anti joke THIS IS NOT A JOKE O:

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What do you call a gay dog? Steve

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Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

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YOU

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Three women are on an airplane. One's a blonde, one's a redhead, and one's a brunette. Unfortunately, the plane was going to crash and there was nothing they could do but jump out and parachute to safety. So the captain said to each of the three ladies, "You can only take one of your possessions when you parachute out of the plane." The blonde says "I will take my watch becau--" But before she could finish her sentence the plane exploded because the flames on the wing had ignited the fuel tank. No one survived.

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why'd the baby cross the road it was stapled to the chicken

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Knock-knock who's there? interrupting cow interupting cow who? moo.

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What has one eye, three arms and one leg? A really weird person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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