Roses are red pineapple is yellow I'll shove your head up my ass so you can eat some marshmallows!

Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: The construction of a steel-reinforced concrete wall will work in most instances, but for more resistant cases, the use of a high-impact titanium anti-rhino charging barrier is required.

if u like this i wont pay you a dollar

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have narcolepsy.

Q: Why were the chicken and the cow friends? A: Because they shared common interests.

Everytime God shuts a door, he opens a window, at the 122th floor of a skyskraper.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

You know what is not cool? Fire.

Why was the bully in detention? He punched a fellow classmate.

patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

A man tells his wife to leave the kitchen

What came first the chicken or the egg? The chicken god made two of every animal

Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

what did the shark do when he died.....

What's the difference between an orange? A bycicle you fool, a vest doens't have sleeves

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt it hit a poll and died of brain damage the next day

Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

What's retarded and comes from Hulsberg? Roy Knubben

Why did Hitler kill the Jews? He didn't, the people he told to kill them did.

roses are grey violets are grey im a dog

Nohypocondrism: When you feel fine and everyone keeps telling you you are a sick bastard. Charisma: Hey, that guy that changed my life killed the neighbor, cool rite? I mean that damn neighbor did say nothing to me when I said hi. Solitude: When the room is so overcrowded that you feel small and alone. I think that people that are jack of all trades and master of none are stupid... I AM JACK OF NO TRADES AND MASTER OF ALL! I am nothing, because nothing lives on forever, nothing is unbreakable, nothing is really awesome on a terrible day... I am also Nobody, because Nobody has more money than me.. FUUUUUUUU..

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...