Why did the cat cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the vegitarian order for dinner? Vegatables

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did Jimmy through a glass at spouse? Jimmy was an abusive husband who had a tendancy to drink too much.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q. What did the man say when his car broke down. A. Damn it, my car broke down.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did the Muslim have under his hood of his car? A V-8 engine.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

why did helen cellars dog runway. you would to if ur name was ujujujujjujujujujujj

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: how do you stop a blonde woman from drowning? A: unplug the stopper in the bathtub Q: how do you stop a baby from drowning? A: take your foot off its head

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did the blind deaf orphan get for christmas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and 10 dead babies? I don't keep a Lamborghini I'm my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Everyone knows a sandwich made with bacon, lettuce, and tomato is a BLT, but what do you call a sandwich made with tomato, bacon, and lettuce? A BLT.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What kinds of children go to heaven dead ones

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the mentally handicapped kid fail his math test? Because he didn't study.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A gay guy and a blind man walk into a bar. It's a gay bar. The blind man is also gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do nappies and politicians have in common? Not a lot, although President Roosevelt suffered from incontinence due to polio as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Bumper Sticker: I Brake for Stop Signs

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the black lady yell? She was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

your mumma so fat she ate a horse and she still had room for dinner

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red. Violets are purple. Haha. Purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black guy driving a Mercedes through New York? A U.S. Citizen

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's green and has wheels? Boogers on a skateboard.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops