Q: What is wrong on many different levels? A: Rape on an elevator.

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roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

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Chinese drivers.

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Q: how do you make a baby blow bubbles? A: hold it under water, or as an alternative you could hold it under its twin sisters blood.

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Q, whats worst then being trapped in a house with a ghost. A, being trapped in a house with thirteen ghosts.

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance covered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being denied coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be paid for." The man snaps his fingers and says "I should've voted Democrat!"

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Q: What did the black man say to his Ex wife after she placed a restraining order on him? A: nothing, he was no longer allowed contact with her of any kind and thus could not converse with her

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Q: how many oxen does it take to row up the empire state building in half of a green canoe under the purple sun while eating a dead moose with no arms? A: Purple, because snakes have no elbows.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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I am on a escalator.

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Did you hear about the deer? He had antlers. If antlers where a kind of disease, that would be a pun.

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The Braves win the N.L. east

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What did the policeman say to the chav? Dickhead!

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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"Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains." "Well that sounds like a mental illness and I deal predominantly with physical ailments"

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Why was the man afraid of the pack of wolves? The man was blind and heard his stomach growling even though he had just eaten two buckets of KFC.

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I'm so hot my father calls me son.

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Which side of a chicken has more feathers? The outside.

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what do you call a 40 year old man working at a burger king that dropped out of highschool dyslexic

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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why did one crayon give another crayon the silent treatment? because they are crayons, unable to speak

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Why was there two girls at the movie? They wanted to see the movie together.

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Why did the man climb the mountain? Because he lacked excitement in his life.

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how do you kill a blonde? the way you would kill anyone, here are some examples gun knife noose or orange. wait wtf who kills someone with an orange

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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