Do you know what the cop said to the black guy? Your free to go

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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what do outgoing girls get on spring break? raped.

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A man walks into a bar. We see him as he approaches the register wearing a dark hoody. The surveillance camera seen here catches a glimpse of the man's face appearing to be a white male with mustache and beard. As you can see the man opens the register and takes the money before the bartender can get to him. If you have any information about this crime please call crime stoppers at 1-800-GET-HELP. In other news, the DOW JONES reached a record high today as investors in China begin working on keeping the economy from plundering.

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What's worse than being killed? Reading these jokes.

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On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

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How do you get a baby in a blender? Feet first so you can see the expression on it's face. How do you get it out ? Nacho chips!

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Adam gives a new view of roid rage

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

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What happens when a man and a woman really love each other?... - They'll most likely go on a date and enjoy themselves.

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What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? Quality control or some other function.

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Knock Knock Whose there? Get out of the bathroom Get out of the bathroom who? No, your in the bathroom

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What is black and white and red all over the news paper of someone with tuberculosis

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guy 1: hey, i got a new dog. isn't he cute? guy 2: i just lit him on fire

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What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

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What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

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What's worse than 1000 babies tied to a tree? 1 baby tied to 1000 trees.

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What do you call a pen sitting on a counter? A righting utensil not being currently used.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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What did the clock say? The time.

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Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding an apple in your worm.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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