What is brown and sticky? The substance used to line your stomach when getting your stomach pumped.

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A man walks into a bar and says "ouch." It was an Iron bar.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nobody, you got ding-dong-ditched

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Two Japanese men walked out of a bar. They drowned.

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Jay Leno: The economy is so bad.. Audience: how bad is it?! Jay Leno: Very bad.

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Are you understanding any of this caboose? I think so, that guy is really a robot and you his boy friend so that makes you.................a gay robot. yes i am a gay robot. -_-

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What did the scientist have to say about religion when he was asked by a local reporter? He said that it is a cultural system that creates powerful and long-lasting meaning, by establishing symbols that relate humanity to truths and values.

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Why did the fat guy get a gun? Because he was tired of all the fat jokes...

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I have a good knock knock joke: You start it.

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Why did the man drink the milk? Because he was a baby.

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What did the cow say to his friend? Moo.

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lick my ballsack.... ok

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How do you kill somebody instantly? Make them smell Smelly mcD's socks.

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i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

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A man walks into a bar, and orders a drink. He reaches into his back pocket, but cannot find his wallet. The man was pick pocketed by a skilled thief on his walk to the bar. The man quickly makes calls to cancel his credit cards and minimize the financial loss.

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What's black and hangs from my tree? A black man. I am a racist.

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Whats fat, brown and on the ground? A chubby indian kid

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How do you find the richest person in Mexico? Google it!

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Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

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A traveler gets a flat tire on an old farm road. He goes to the door of the neasrest farm and knocks. The farmer and his beautiful 21 year old daughter answer the door. Traveler: "I'm sorry, but I have a flat. Is there any place I can stay until I get it repaired?" Farmer: "Why yes. Our church sponsors a homeless shelter and rehab center down the road.I can give you a ride there if you like?"

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What did the Farmer say to his tractor? Most likely his life story, Farmers arn't always the most popular.

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Doctor: your mom has cancerous aids Me:*sob*

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what is the awesomest of them all? me

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A guy is walking on the beach one day when he stubs his toe on something shiny. Digging in the sand he finds an old, tarnished lamp. He takes it home and liberally applies polish, then puts it on his mantlepiece, it completes the look he was going for in his room and he feels like all his wishes have come true. His wife dies in a car accident later that day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops