Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his face.

why did the boys voice get so deep? He just went through puberty

What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware? Get in the boat.

Penis!

Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

What do you get if your mailman drops your letter in black paint? Blackmail

A girl asks a guy "How come you don't take me dancing anymore?" The guy said "Because we were both killed in a car accident."

Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

Knock knock. Come in. Okay.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

Compton

Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

Du bist mein Kampf

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

How do you make a baby cry? Hit it with a brick.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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