Who wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy? P. Diddy.

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knock knock, who's there, white, white who, white van, RUN!

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Why Sam Vitale gay? Because he loves men!

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What does the scarecrow from the wizard of oz and a zombie have in common? They both want brains.

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When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

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So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

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Why did the Nazi not help the black man up after he had been badly injured? The Nazi was in a wheelchair.

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What's the difference between a black guy and a wet towel? The towel doesn't kick when you hang it

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Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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I have to tell you something. What? I just told you something.

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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What happens when you shoot a black man? You go to prison because murder is a criminal offense.

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How many licks does it take to get to the tootsie-roll center of a tootsie pop? It very depending on the amount of saliva produced in ones mouth..

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Your mom is so poor, she contributes to the high unemployment of the country and didn't even have enough money to feed her family so Social Services came in and took them away

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Once upon a time.

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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How do you insult a Canadian? You just swear at them and hope for the best.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue I'm Schizophrenic and so am I

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Q:When a terrorist attack happened what did the woman with the 1 leg say? A: HOP for your lives!!!!

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Why did the little boy cross the road? He didnt. He actually got halfway across the road and was struck by a fast moving car. There is now a memorial on the side of the road mourning his death...

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8===========D O:

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How many people with ADD does it take to...Oh look! Shiny!!!

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An blind orphan in an impoverished Irish village develops both AIDS and terminal cancer. You laughed a little at that. You are going to hell.

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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