Knock knock. Who's there? Not your grandma! Cause she's dead! Come to the funeral

Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

What's purple, smells like an eggplant, and looks like an eggplant? An eggplant.

How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

Q:why did jimmy fall of a swing? A:Because someone threw a fridge at him

Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

What's tiny and smells like a big banana? A tiny banana

Fiona: SHREK! WHERE WERE YOU TONIGHT? Shrek: Out clubbing with the boys. Fiona: What did you do. Shrek: Eat Jews. Borat: iz vedy naaace

What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

"I'm gonna fight fire with fire!" "won't you just get more fire?" "True..."

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

How old are you? 7

What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

what's blue and looks like a shirt? a blue shirt

what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

I'm a wise old man, so I'm aloud to touch you in the bathing suit area.

How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

how much fish could a chicken

If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

What is red and fluffy?... Your teddy bear covered in blood...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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