How many blonde chicks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to set the house on fire, and the other to call 119.

How do you know an elephant has gotten into your refrigerator? The refrigerator is lying on its side and the door is ripped off. The food is all over the place and the shelves are scattered around the floor. Your house will have suffered severe structural damage that insurance plan might not cover. Also there is a mortified elephant in you kitchen.

What did the prizon cell mate get for christmas. Herpes!

What do you call a smelly black person? An African american with poor hygiene

Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

A: Knock knock. B: Come in. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ?cash(p)

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

Why was Michael Jackson so bad at dancing? Because he had a broken leg.

A deer looks at the ground and sees something strange. He wonders what it could be. A rabbit comes along and thinks the same. A badger promptly arrives after the rabbit and thinks the exact same. 4 seconds later they all get hit by a train.

what did one lady say to another lady we are both ladies

Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

What do you get when you offer a blond a penny for his thoughts? Change.

Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

What did the black guy get on the SATs? Who knows, that isn't a specific person

What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

What's the difference between the WNBA and the NBA? The WNBA features female athletes, as oppose to the males of the NBA.

Roses are red violets are blue this poem is stupid.

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist.

Three blokes walk into a pub. One of them is a little bit stupid, and the whole scene unfolds with a tedious inevitability.

what do mr. potato head and micheal jackson have in common? their noses come off pretty easily

What is the difference between a circle and a cylinder? dunno

What did the home-less man eat for dinner last night? Nothing.

How do you make a clown sad? You kill his family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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