I don't want to share my name yet if that is okay, I mean I have not seen you, but you have seen me just saying. Tell me how old you are first, I am 26, or 27, being more or less an orphan since birth details like that kinda lose themselves. And no, its not Eliza, I will wait for you here if you do not mind, there are still people that have thought I am Nero all this while, that`s what worries me, I doubt I can convince them I am chatting with myself this time around.

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Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Some chocolate and a new DVD.

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What did the gay man die of? Obesity.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a man with a big orange head. The man asks the bartender, "Why does that guy have a big orange head?" The bartender replies," If you buy him a beer, maybe he'll tell you." So the man buys a beer and gives it to the man with the big orange head and asks why he has a big orange head. The man says, "One day I found a genie and my first wish was to be the richest man in the world, my second wish was to be married to the most beautiful woman in the world, and for my third wish, I told the genie,'Ya know, why don't you give me a big orange head."

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Why was the African American man afraid of dogs? He had a terrible childhood memory of being violently dry humped by a german shepherd.

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Who has two thumbs and is happy? This girl! You're a girl?

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Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

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Gustavo Andrade

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Roses are red Violets are blue I look down My pants are brown.

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A family of five sit on a bench, the bench falls the family die.

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Anal

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Why did Justin Beiber cut his hair It had grown to long

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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What do you call a deer with one eye? Nothing. The deer was transported to a specialist animal hospital and now has two working eyes, eliminating the purpose of this joke. We apologise for wasting your time.

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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Three men walk in to a bar, One ducked

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Why was the Asian woman late for work? She was raped.

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Your momma's so obnoxious, your dad left.

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What did the Asian father say to his son when he got a b? Good job son!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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