What did the milk bottle say to the other milk bottle? Nothing. Bottles can't talk you silly goose.

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How did the old man die? His family locked him in the basement and then burned the house

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A tire swing.

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What's brown and sounds like a bell? An old rusted bell.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Two guys fight over a girl. The girl gets up from under them.

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Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

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So two people have conversation Luke: Hi Logan: Hi Snake eyes: ALHSKjagjdaoggj;jdjg;aj;kaj'dgajd Luke: You are so smart! (you retarted piece of poo) Logan: GAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBEEEEEEN

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Your moma so ugly she should go see a plastic surgeon.

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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A man crawled up to a water fountain but fell because he had no legs

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Fat? Jesse Z

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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How do you confuse your algebra teacher? Tell her to prove that she exists.

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An Irish man walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and notices he has a steering wheel stuck down the front of his pants. "Hey," he says, "What's with the steering wheel down your pants?" The Irish man looks down at it, dumbfounded. "I have absolutely no idea," he says, and removes it.

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What did the black man say tovtye chinese man? Hello sir how are you today?

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Whats the difference between a baby in a comma and an iPod? I actually use the baby.

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Q How is it Going Patty? A:Hi Patrick hows it going?

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How many cows does it take to swim on land? 4.2

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Why is the world going to end on 9 December 2014? I don't know why, but IT IS

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Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he was eaten alive!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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