there once was a man, he was old, and he had one wish...do you wanna know that wish? Well i don't know it because he died two seconds ago from a heart attack. Oh Well...

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i found waldo.

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hi hey i hate you why you ate my mother she tasted good i like fried chicken ITS A SMALL WORLD! SO DO I well lets go to the beach ok

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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Q: Why did the man eat the banana? A: Cuz he was hungry!

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a bmw? I don't have a bmw in my garage.

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Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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How many babies does it take to paint a fence? depends on how hard you throw them.

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How do you make a miner sad? You cut his d*ck off then feed it to his family.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 7 eight 9

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Why was the tree sad? Because a bird shat on it.

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If your Jewish, then don't go to Germany.

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What do you get when you pull down your pants in public? Most likely a criminal record for indecent exposure.

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Carlos was on the computer writing anti-jokes. They all scuked.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Why did the little boy throw rocks at his sister? ...Because she has cancer.

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ASUS Live Update has stopped working.

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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Rap. Skate. Smoke.

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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