what did the chicken say when it crossed the road? you know. chickens arent the only animal that can cross roads! why can it be why did the racoon cross the roads? because that happens more frequently!

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

Why couldn't the cat drink his milk? Because his ears were stapled to the floor.

The awkward moment when you find your wife on the online dating site you are on.

What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

What do you call a black man running really fast down a street? Active.

Yo mama so short, she developed a debilitating neck problem from having to look up at people when talking to them.

what happens when chuck norris loses his hokey-bar? your mother

roses are red that fact is true but violets are violet not fu***** blue

So let's pretend two men that had been friends for a very long time, one man asks the other man how he is, so the man tells the other man how he is doing. Then that man asks the other man how he is doing. The two men were engaged in a very interesting conversation. What did the men do next? Nothing. We're pretending, remember?

What do you say when you accidently punch a wasps nest? Nothing.The correct choice is ton run as fast as you can to avoid getting stung by the entire nest of wasps.

Why couldn't Bob pick up his pen? Because a nuclear bomb just set off where he lives and it incinerated everything.

A black man in a hooded sweatshirt is sprinting down a back alley. He is trying to get into better shape by exercising and knows a shortcut to his house.

whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a mexican has elbows.

Why did the plane crash? Because a loaf of bread was the pilot.

a guy walks into a bar.. ouch

Why was the black man hanging from the tree? He fell and had to grab a branch.

What's Worse Than Falling Over? .......Rape.

Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? Because dinosaurs died out 65.5 million years ago.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

what looks like a sock and goes on peoples feet? A sock

How do you drown a blonde? Intentionally attempting to drown anyone, regardless of their hair color, is murder which is illegal and morally wrong to do.

what do you call an anoying ginger? jimmy overby

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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