Knock Knock Who's There Mailman Mailman who? Sir, I don't have time for this, take your mail.

how did the farmer die? his dog shot him

What's black and white and red all over? A greyish red object.

How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

KANE AUDITIONS FOR BRITAINS GOT TALENT SIMON COWEL REAPES HIM

A black guy and a Mexican are in a car, who is driving? They take turns due to the fact it is a long trip.

What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

whats on object, almost tube like that squirts thick white liquid from the top elmer's glue

A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

Why did seven eat nine? Because six was afraid of him.

Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

What's brown and sticky? A lump of shit.

Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

if u ever get arrested by cop, just tell the cop this: "No no officer, you got it all wrong. It was only a game. It's called RAPE."

why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

Q:Why couldn't the man lick his ice cream? A: Because he lost all of his tongue due to the chemicals of cigarettes.

Your mom is so ugly she often finds it difficult attracting members of the other sex.

If you have three ice-cream cones, and you give away two, how many do you have left? Why would you give away your ice-cream? Eating it is the better option.

What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

Three men were on a plane. Oh wait. You probably already heard this one.

why did the chicken cross the road it didnt it got eaten

why did the baby fall down the steps? Because there was big earth quake that blocked his parents on the other side of the house, therefor leaving no one capable of getting to him befor falling

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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