What did the homeless man buy with a dollar? Nothing. He didn't have a dollar.

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

How was a blonde woman able to get into Harvard? She was smart and had a very good SAT score.

If Bob has 65 sweets and he eats 57 how many does he have? Bob has diabetes. He has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced.

You can't choose your family, so choose someone else's.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

what's an advantage of breaking every bone in your body? nothing, you're screwed.

Why did the man fall over? He was blind.

How do you kill a dumb blonde? Stab them in the chest 43 times.

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

Why was the man happy to see his wife dead? He beat her

two men are standing on a roof. Man #1: do you want me to push you off a roof? Man #2: No.

What's faster, a train or a bike? A horse because a cow gives milk

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

So seriously you have never ever played videogames before?

Why couldn't Billy write his own name... ...because he was wearing purple lemonade???

Why did the clown get in the car? Because he can.

Okay.. So a dyslectic man walks into a bra...

Why did he chicken cross the road? The suicide rate in chickens has gone up 50% in the past year alone.

Steve is getting paid $29.50 to bounce a ball Steve is getting fired monday

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent get brutally murdered.

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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