what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

Der Ter-Rerks, nern ter serrentersts ers "Terernerserers Rerks", wers er dernerser dert lerved ern der Certersers perrerd. Ert wers er mert erter, prering ern smerler, plernt-erterng dernersers serch ers herdrersers ernd serrerperds. Ert erser hernterd der herned herberver Tersererterps, werd erverderns erf ferts ferned ern der ferserlersed rermerns.

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Oh my gosh a talking muffin.

Do you like fishsticks? Ya, me too.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

This is Axel, if you are who I think you are, you are late.

What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

What's funny about Magic Johnson's T-Cell count? Nothing. He has AIDS, and it's a degenerative disease, that will eventually result in death. There's nothing funny about that.

A horse walks into a bar. The barman asks "Why the long face?" The horse takes offense and replies "I was born like this."

How do you have se with hellen keller? Very sweetly

Why did the cook throw up at McDonalds? Because his pay check was made out to the Ronald McDonald Foundation.

Why is Stevie Wonder always so happy? Probably becuase he's a highly succesfull multi-million dollor recording artist with 26 grammys and 1 oscar

Where is Jew University? Berlin, Germany

Is Barack Obama a dentist, a teacher, or the president of the United States? A dentist. He just happens to have the same name as the president.

how do you save a car from falling out of an airplane? I don't know.

how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

What's better than a stick? A stone

Q. What's the difference between a clock and an elephant? A. A clock doesn't have limbs, muscles or a respiratory system.

Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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