How do you get a woman to stop nagging? Smack her in the face.

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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What do you do when your girlfriend is bleeding? She is probably on her period.

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What do you call hunter ? An anerexic that is skinny as a tooth pick. Duh

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Why do dead Republicans float? Their corpse's mass-to-volume ratio is less than the water they displace. It is very sad.

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My jeans

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Roses are red They can be white too Violets are not blue They are violet

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There's a white guy and a black guy, on a bridge. Of corse the idiot white guy jumps off. But the black guy yells, I NEVER LIKED U!!!!! Later that day the police showed up and asked wat happened. The black guy said, U GOT NO EVIDENCE!!! The police say true and walk away. Then go to Dunkin Donuts and get a triple chocolate donnut and coffee. They lived happily ever after. Except for the white guy. :)

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To Daniel You must have been born on a highway cuz thats where most accidents happen

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What do you do if you see a cat crossing the street? Hit it of course!

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Sometimes i like to stand on my chair and pretend that i am a carrot.

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guess what what ...

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What did Jim do after the police gave him a ticket? He followed them home and used their children's limbs to rape them.

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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Why didnt Steve Jobs make an iphone 5? He died

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Why did the Football Coach go to the Bank?? To Cash his Paycheck.

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So a bar walks into a man...

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Q. Why doesn't a woman need a wrist watch? A. Because they're actually becoming generally obsolete with the advent of the cell phone.

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Knock Knock No solicitors

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When the poop hits the fan and you walk in with your pants around your ankles, it's a bad sign!

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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