What's the difference between a cow? Trick question—cows eat carrots!

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Knock Knock Who's There Lettuce Lettuce who? Lettuce down the street building his new garage

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Q: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? A: Reading re-posts of classic anti jokes posted by lonely teenagers.

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What does a black kid get for Christmas? Your bike

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing set? Because she died. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Lucy.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Why did the boy fall off the purple cliff? Because someone cut of his legs and arms and threw him off.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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what do you call a old guy who touches children? my dad

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What happens when two elephants go out in the rain? They get wet.

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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If little jimmy has five candy bars and he eats three, what does little jimmy have? Diabetes

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Officer i'm dot nrunk, beriously you gotta selieve me!

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What did the big Chimney say to the little Chimney? Nothing they are chimneys ....

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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If my wife has got 6 oranges in one hand and 6 apples in the other hand, what has she got? No chance of stopping an uppercut.

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Roses are red, violets blue, um... that's all i got.

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Tunechi

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What's worse than burning your tongue drinking hot chocolate? Being shanked by a homeless man.

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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What happens to a blonde girl who is buying drugs off of a drug dealer? Nothing, she was an undercover police officer trying to arrest said drug dealers on the street.

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Why can't Chuck Norris divide by zero? Because it is impossible, the answer is undefined.

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What is the worst joke ever? This one.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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