Why can't you borrow money from a leprechaun? Because leprechauns don't exist.

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"i once had a rabbit named socks.he was a funny little fellow until one day he got over excited and...well..." "did he...i mean..you know..did he...?" "what?lose a claw,throw up, sit in a pan of warm water until he calmed down?" "yeah! :)" "yes...but then he died."

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What do you call Metta World Peace after he has hit somebody? Metta World War.

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What does it take to make the best anti-joke ever? not this

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What do you call a black man that is wearing a suit? Whatever his name happens to be

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the street? A: Because that was the direction it was headed.

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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why did the 42 inch plasma screen blow-up 6 hours before the england match ? because it knows .

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Have you heard of the Armenian genocide? No? Me neither.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Dog Dog wh- wait how did you knock? *mindblown*

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Whats worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? Cause he had madcow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We have STD's, Now so do you!

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Denard Robinson

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Q: A man walked into a bar and said, "Ouch!" Why? A: The man walked into a METAL bar.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree, it'll kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the black man cross the road? He was going to meet up with his friend who happened to be Irish.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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WHAT DOES A NUMBER DO WHEN IT'S HORNE? MATHDERBATION

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Three girls are walking in the woods they see tracks one thinks it is a bear the other thinks it is a deer the last one thinks it is a lion They all argue till they get hit by a train and realized they were train tracks

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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