How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

My dog has no nose. How does it smell? It doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened when the man fell off the boat? He went into the water and was viciously mauled by 5 alligators then ran over by another boat.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i thought violets were violet. hmph.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What's more fun than nailing a baby to a wall? Pulling it off.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -8

There was a girl that got on the bus . The bus started moving as soon as sat . The bus driver looked up at the window and saw the girl coming closer . Every time she came closer , the more he looked , the girls nose kept on bleeding more and more . When the girl was right next to the bus driver , he started to shudder in fear looking forward , knowing that she is there . When he looks to his right , the girl looked at him , then looked at the window . And started to pick her nose .

thumb_up thumb_down -8

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey!!!" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whore whroe whore whore whore whroe

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a dog that has no legs? It doesn't matter because he will never come.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Knock Knock Who's there? You You Who? Yes? Can I help you madam?

thumb_up thumb_down -14

An asian walks into class to take a math test. He did not study and consistently misbehaves and promptly fails.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Roses are red, Violets are red, Why do I have a Virtual Boy?

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why the long face?" The horse's mother had terminal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops