A newly wed couple is at the beach and the wife asks for sunscreen and the man says he forgot it in the car. He goes to the car only to find that the car had been broken into. He goes to call his wife and they go back to the car only to find that the car had been stolen. #Turns out the thief broke the window to steal the car but saw the owner coming and hid behind a bush and upon the man going to call his wife he continued with his mission

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What is the one thing you can never steal back? Your viginity.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, take this medication, and call me if you have any symptoms of nausea or heartburn.

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Why did the babysitter only get paid 50 cents for a whole day. Because he was a 6 foot mexican.

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Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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What’s brown and hairy? Brown hair.

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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Q: Why did the white mother with a newborn baby lock her car doors? A: Because a black guy walked by.

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what did the apple say to the orange? nothing, stupid, apples can't talk

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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the other day i was walking down the street and saw a black man carrying a tv. i thought to myself, "hey that looks like mine!" but then i was like nawwwwwww, mine's at home...... shining my shoes -_-

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

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Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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A horse walks into a Bakery and asks "Do you have any wheat bread?", and the Baker replies "No, we only have white bread." So the horse says: "Thats okay, I rode my bike today."

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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Yo momma so fat shes eating right now

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Q:what do you get when you get when you cross a dog and a human A: a human-dog hybrid with AIDS

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why does pink turn into blue it doesnt you just get hit by a frigde because you cried whe you got shot several times

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What do Barney and a butchers knife have in common? One of them is purple

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What's worse than a crying baby on a trans-Atlantic flight? A hungry lion on a trans-Atlantic flight.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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