Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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Did you know Helen Keller had a Playground in her back yard? Neither did she.

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What do you get when you see a black man writing? A man devoted to getting a education.

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My friend was waving a stick around and yelling out spells, so walked up to him and asked "You want to be Harry Potter, don't you?" He replied excitedly "Yeah!!" So i killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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knock knock whos there the game __i lost the game__

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "I have fetal alcohol syndrome."

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I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

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What did the soldier get for his birthday? Shot in the face.

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A man walks into a bar, orders a drink, drinks it, and leaves.

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What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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A man walks into a bar and orders a pop because he was a designated driver

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Your momma is so dumb that her IQ is 3 standard deviations below that of an average person.

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why is six afraid of seven? because seven is black

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Asked by the court barber how he wanted his hair cut, the king replied: ‘In silence.

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I can't stand being in a wheelchair.

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Whats 9 inches long, pink, and makes women scream? A miscarriage OuO

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What's green and hangs from trees? Leafs

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What did the vibrator say to the condom? Watch, I'll get laid before you do!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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