What's worse than finding your cat dead? Finding your cat dead because it choked on your goldfish.

WELCOME TO THE SECRET TOWARDS GOING BEYOND YOUR FIFTH SENSE... UNLOCKING YOUR SIXTH SENSE! (redux:Chronoshift extend Xr`d Utrawave edition) 1, Sound 2. sight 3.touch 4.Smell 5.Taste. 6.Balance? :( 7. Pressure :/ 8. Itch :O 9.Thermoception: Ability to sense heat and cold :S 10.Proprioception: This sense gives you the ability to tell where your body parts are. 11.Coordination. :/ 12. Nociception: In a word, pain. This was once thought to simply be the result of overloading other senses, such as “touch”, but this has been found not to be the case and instead, it is its own unique sensory system. There are three distinct types of pain receptors: cutaneous (skin), somatic (bones and joints), and visceral (body organs). Moral Man the Friendly arsonist, motherpounder: I SHALL GLADLY HELP YOU UNLEASH YOUR 12th SENSE TO ITS FULLEST DEGREE!

A kid walks in to a bar. The bartender asks the boy where his parents are and he replies that he does not know. They call the police who proceed to try to contact the boy's parents. They have gone missing so the boy must go up for adoption. He gets adopted by an abusive family and runs away. Without a family, job, or money, he could not afford a house. He lived alone in a box until he died of starvation.

the awkward moment when your mom wakes you up and you realize she died six years ago

What do you calk a dirty mexican? a hard working gardener

A man walks into a bar........ gets eaten by a lion.

Q:Why is rugby one of the safest sports to play? A: It isn't , it is in fact very dangerous.

-Knock Knock - no one respond , they were brutally murdered by a drug addict.

what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

hey girl, My Gyarados is BIG enough for you to ride it ALL day and night

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Why did the Alzheimer's patient fail the history exam? I don't remember.....

What's the difference between a Gay Man and a Straight Woman? Anatomy.

Most adults can swim. Current government studies are investigating similar skills in babies. With unnecessarily large pools.

A man walks into a bar and says, "Hey, Jim, your wife just died from terminal cancer." Jim then says, "Cool. Hey, do you know if the games on tonight?"

What has two legs but can't walk A paraplegic

What did Joe get for his first birthday? Nothing he died at birth

What did the five fingers say to the face? Nothing. Fingers cannot talk.

The Pope walks into a bar, the barman says: "What'll it be, Pope?" But the Pope's knowledge of English is tenuous at best. He mumbles something in Latin that the barman doesn't understand. The Pope becomes frustrated and leaves.

What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar? Who me? Couldn't be.

Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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