Where did Mary go when the bomb blew up? Everywhere.

What do you call literature that's depressing and hard to read? ...a valued part of the English curriculum

Q: Why does Billy get bullied at school? A: Because he has Down's Syndrome

Why did the chicken cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

Q: Why did princess Diana crops the road? A: Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt

I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

Jerry Sandusky walks up to the reception desk at a day care center. What does the lady at the desk say? Nothing, she promptly gives Mr. Sandusky his son and they leave.

Person 1: I'm really sleepy. Person 2: Then go to sleep.

What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

Yar! What be a pirate's favorite football team? The Steelers. I'm originally from Pittsburgh.

how did the black guy get into school? he walked thru the front door.

Why did the black man fall down? A guy pushed him.

What's white and black and red all over A nun with a spear throug her head

Why don't women have breasts? Because they have dandruff. Get it? Hint: "dandruff" = "dan druff"

Roses are red,violets are blue,hit me once I will break you to Roses are red,violets are blue,I will kick your ass, as hard as to

Why is it so hard to find slim fitting clothes in America? Because not many clothing stores carry them.

A man questions wether a cat will always land on it's feet. He takes a cat from a pet store and tosses it into the air. The cat lands on it's feet. Startled, the cat runs into the street and gets hit by a car. The man goes to prison for theft and animal abuse.

So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

What do you call someone who explores wild cave systems? A spelunker.

What do Jews and gays have in common? They both would have been killed during the Holocaust.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your penis.

What did the unicorn eat for a snack? Nothing. Unicorns are a majestic fiction animal.

Why couldn't the blonde do her homework? She had no fingers.

How does a black man spell Jack J-A-C-K

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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