Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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What is white but you can't see it? A bottle of milk around the corner.

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There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. But everything turned out alright, as the fly was dissolved by stomach acid.

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What did the fat confused man say? I am confused.

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What is small, cries a lot, and moves at high speeds? A baby stapled to a car.

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What happens when a unicorn gets her period? You know it's a girl.

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whats black & white the colombo school shooting citv footage

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So there is the standard english class with groups of different people. You got the nerds, lads, violent ones etc. Now the kids are doing a standard pop quiz. The nerd is next to the violent kid. The violent kid asks the teacher if he can go to the toilet. Everyone is nervous as it was based from last year's work which they haven't studied for. He then stabs the nerd in the neck multiple times and finishes his test.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

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What did the snowman say to the other snowman? Do you smell carrots?

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Why did the child cry? His sister just left for college

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What did the blind man say to the mentally challenged man when he bumped into him? Watch where you're going, retard.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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I'm sorry but your child seems to have fractured his spinal column and can no longer control any part of his body below his neck.

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why was the tricycle lonely? the mom back over the kid in the driveway.

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Want to hear a dirty joke? A pig fell in the mud…

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What do you call thousands of people running through london? The marathon

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What is a 3 legged dog? It's still a dog! Sheesh

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How many pairs of underwear do I own? Seventy-nine.

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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