im 14, over weight and spotty! you interested? .... im desperate:)

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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Q: How do you turn lights on and off? A: With a switch

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Why do black people make the best milkshakes? because they use the finest ingredients

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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Why did the man murder his wife? Because she would'nt do the the dishes

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Your city streets are so bumpy that cars get flat tires when going to the gas station.

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How many squirrels does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares? Why would a squirrel need to change a lightbulb?

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, As you can tell...a lot of blood has been spilt today.

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a Pig? One makes bacon when smoked.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did the one Brick say to the other Brick? We have the same name.

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Why was the prostitute's throat sore? Allergies.

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What's black and at the top of a burning building? A paraplegic

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An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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two japanese men walk into a bar. the first japanese man says “i am japanese!” the second japanese man says “i am also japanese!” the bartender then says “well, hey. i’m japanese too”. the bar was in japan.

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A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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