What do you call a black man on the moon?? Never going to happen

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Q: Why did Sally keep falling off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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jack be nimble jack be quick jack is a parapeligic.....there's no need for more

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Whats more dangerous then a man with a gun? two men with guns.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have alzheimers. Cheese on toast.

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why did the teacher quit her job and become a musician? Because her class was very mean to her and growing up she had always wanted to play music

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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bite me

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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What's better than rape? Consensual sex.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by its surroundings and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Knock Knock. Erm, sorry to be weird, but can you perhaps use the doorbell, because it's new and has a novelty chime. I'm proud of it and get a little chuckle everytime it rings in the vain hope that, perhaps you, the visitor, may also find it entertaining. Who's there anyway?'

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quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

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How do you make a dentist cry? Kill all his family.

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i was quite upset when my girlfriend called me a peodifile, what does she know, shes only 6.

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This is not a joke, I'm just bored (or am I?)

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Your mom is so ugly that you should buy her a paper bag to cover her face because she is just so very unattractive that it burns mine and everyone else's eyes.

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Yo momma so fat she has more chins than a Chinese phonebook. Chins in a phonebook? I don't get it.

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Knock, Knock Whos there? Banana Banana Who? Banana i didn't say your moms dead.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? You can't drown babies in roast beef.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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