How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, the mystery is how mice can get inside a lightbulb.

A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

Whats Brown, Long and is on every black man? Legs

Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

What's green and can dance? A Cloud. I lied.

What's so similar about a zombie and a black man? They are both almost human.

what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

What did Timmy's mom think of his art project? Nothing, she screamed and called an ambulance because she saw that he had tripped and fallin onto a pair of scissors and they just so happened to peirce his heart.

Me: "If I had Alzheimers, I would break down into tears." Friend: "Why, you would forget why you were crying..." Me: "Who are you again?"

y was John so sad becaus his mom took his phone

What song does the lady camel sing to seduce male camels - my humps my humps my humps my humps How did sergay the camel respond? -we dont know. He died a fatal death involving hippos in hula skirts, and flying guavas

What happened to the black man when he was hit by a truck? He died.

A detective? I think more about that chip and dale thing, that was not funny, the classics are okay I suppose, but that newer thing detective-ish maybe. Uh... Do I get a clue? I have not like watched all of them.

Yes you better be sorry, I'm gonna suck my mums p e n i s tonight! - Dylan Hodge

quiz is to quizzicle as test is to test___.

What did Chuck Testa do when he saw she had died of a heart attack? He cried and gave her a proper funeral and burial.

roses are red violets are blue the thing in the toilet reminds me of you :)

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

what did the lesbian say to the man? I don't like penis

What's worse than sex with a midget? Non-consensual sex with a midget.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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