Who cut the cheese? It's sliced so evenly.

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Who threw beer on livvy barnett? Cam irwin.

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How do you stop a black man from running? You shoot his knee caps.

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What can a Giraffe have, that no other animal on Earth can? A baby Giraffe.

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What's green, has six legs and lives in the jungle? A Snooker Table.

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What did one lawyer say to the other? Your son's coming to my son's birthday party, right?

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Why do seagulls live by the sea? Because they wouldn't be able to live anywhere else.

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For 10 cents a day you can feed an African...they eat pennies.

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Q: Why is Little Johnny in the hospital with a bullet wound and a broken arm? A: I shot him of his bike.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling in circles? Pick it up and put it in a crib, like a responsible parent.

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Roses are red My name is Dave This poem makes no sense And it doesn't rhyme either

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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What is easier than making pie? Making cake!

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What's worse than leaving the maternity ward with the wrong child? Being a parent.

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Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

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What did the tree say to the kite? She got hit by a fridge.

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? Because the numerous failed attempts of crossing over the years deemed it almost impossible, therefore, chicken could no longer see the point in life.

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Your mom is so fat that her every day life if a struggle and she has to get gastric bypass surgery or else she is going to die

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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How do you stop a baby from crawling circles? You nail it's other hand to the floor too

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops