A Duck, a Mexican guy and Helen Keller walk into a bar. The bartender asks "What do each of you want?" The duck doesn't respond because is is a duck. The Mexican guy doesn't respond because he doesn't know English that well. Helen Keller does't respond because she is dead.

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What do you call a rapist who uses condoms and excessive lubricant? A Rapist.

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Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

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roses are red. violetss are black. a knife would go good in your back

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What did the Asian man say to the taxi driver? Diarrrhea

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I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

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A duck walks into a bar. The bartender asks the duck "What'll it be?" The duck doesn't respond because it's a duck and it can't talk.

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what do u call a kid at school a school kid and i have enough of these anti jokes they are not funny

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I? Everett

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What did one jew say to the other jew? Want some pizza?

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How do you confuse an English Professor? Light your pants on fire and flop around like a fish.

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whats the difference between marmalade and jam? you cant marmalade ur cock up a girls arse

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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Why did the old man lose his cane? He didnt. He had alzheimers

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Why cant Helen Keller drive a bus? Cuz she's dead!

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A man walks into the office for an appointment. The doctor performs the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he feels the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies, "You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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What's worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? Recognizing the baby as your missing child, and finding the corpse of your dead wife next to it.

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knock knock who's there? Jehovah's witness GOOD BYE!

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas many gift card to stores he liked

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I would tell you a joke about a blunt pencil but it's pointless

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Why couldn't the melons get married? As gay cantaloupes, their jurisdiction didn't allow for same-sex marriage.

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Q: How many times did the chicken cross the road? A: One and a half.

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A: I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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