why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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What is a pirates favorite crime? Piracy, which is still a serious problem in today's society.

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Roses are grey. Violets are a different shade of grey. Let's go chase cars. -Dog

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There is a Asian a black guy and a white guy the black guy loves apples the white guy loves pears and the Asian loves Macaroni the white guy gets a apple the black guy gets a pear and the Asian has no lunch so the black guy kills the white guy for the apple and the Asian kills the black guy because he is hungry

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What does a dishwasher and the holocaust have in common? Not much.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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A man walked into a bar. He needed 5 stitches.

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Why didn't Susie do her reading homework? She is blind and her school system cannot Afford to teach her to read braille

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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A:You wanna here a good anti joke B:Yeah/sure A:Me too

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What is a black, yellow like liquid that contains carbon dioxide, usually kept in a can, and is not coke? Pepsi.

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Your mama was so fat that when she did the splits she gave the floor a hickey

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Roses are red Violes are blue I am hot How bout you?

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A man is at the doctor's waiting to be examined. The doctor walks into the room and takes one look at the man. The Doctor says, "You will need to stop masturbating." The man looks at him and says, "What, why?" The doctor says, "so that I can examine you"

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Whats faster than a mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

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A man walks into a bar at 4:00 PM NO it was actually 4:01 because my clock is messed up and My dad likes cheese plus pie

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What's black and white and red all over? A Nazi banner.

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HAHAHAHAHAHA.....shut up your joke isn't better.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, I have a dead body, What do I do.

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Hey! How do you do a four strand plait? With four strands.

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I hear eating an apple a day keeps the other apples in check.

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A Jew walks into a bar and says drinks are on me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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