If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change the light bulb and two to file a lawsuit.

Why was the black man running? Because he was playing capture the flag.

What is the difference between Steve Jobs and a PC? PC's are not dead.

Who didn't allow the gorilla into the ballet studio? Whoever was in charge.

Did you hear about that creepy guy on Facebook? He was un-friended

What's more irritating than a half eaten apple? Some prick taking up half the page with shitty copy and past routine.

Whats worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Finding out that that apple was the tip of a dick

What did Jamie get for Christmas? Nothing. Jamie is not friends with Christmas.

Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell bad.

Whats the difference of how a hot blonde and an ugly red head got in to the same collage with a sex addicted dean? Nothing they were both very smart inteligent women with respectables GPA

Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

Why did the washing machine laugh? Because it took the piss out of the knickers!!!!! :)

q: what do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex? a: sex, just like everyome else calls it

What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

Q: How do mentally retarted people read books A: They dont

The rabbit owns a small business and has trouble getting a loan.

Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

You idiot.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

what do you call Tim Tebow on a bike with a clown hat on? Tim, Mr. Tebow whatever you want

What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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