Why did the man feel like he was flying? Because he had just committed suicide by jumping off of a tall building.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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What do you call a seedless pumpkin? A pumpkin.

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What is the difference between john madsen and a gay person. There isn't because john is gay

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What's worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm. Being raped. What's worse than being raped. Being raped twice. What's worse than being raped twice. Biting into your apple and finding a worm then throwing away that apple, retrieving another apple them biting into it and finding another worm then being raped twice. In the same 5 minutes.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. ( to heaven )

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Diana- hey i havnt seen you all summer. Whaaat did you do over the summer? Paul- contract HIV Diana- ...oh ...

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth??? A brick!!!

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: I didn't get to ask. He got hit by a car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a bus on the way over.

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What do you call six white guys on a bench? Six white guys at the park

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how do you kill a black guy ? AIDS

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A good antijoke? Going to the last few pages of the "Popular" antijoke section....

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What is Sally's favorite flavor ice cream? She can't eat ice cream, she's lacktose and tollerant.

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Two elves walk into a bar. The hobbit laughs and walks under it.

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Why did the monkey eat the banana? Because it was sexually confused

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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“When life gives you lemons, don’t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don’t want your damn lemons, what the hell am I supposed to do with these? Demand to see life’s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I’m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!”

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Knock Knock Who's There Fat white lady with dreadlocks Fat white lady with dreadlocks who? want to buy some girls scout cookies?

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Why dont you greet your friend Jack on a plane? because you will say "hi Jack"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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