What did the rabbi say to the Muslim? I don't know I wasnt there. But it probably had something to do with their varying religions.

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What do Michael Jackson and a T-Rex have in common? They're both dead.

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream? She got hit by a truck. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally. Why did Sally fall of the swings? She had no arms. Why didn't Jimmy help her up? Jimmy is a fish. There's a guy with no arms and no legs who loves to swim. What's his name? Bob. Ya know Bob's twin brother is in the same condition. He loves to play in the leaves. And what's his name? Russell. Why couldn't Sally swing on the swing? She had no arms. What did the girls mom tell her to do before she went to bed? Go to bed. How do you wake up Will Ferrell? You set his alarm clock to a reasonable hour. What did the fat man who had his car stolen tell the police? Someone stole my car.

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Eliz, Neo-Nero, its me Clint, had to fake my death for some years in order to get back to the order. Neo, I know Nero picked you as his successor, but honestly, I was his first choice, and I know you well enough to understand that things are getting out of hand over there. I will be there in 2 minutes Liz and you and I can meet up Neo, seriously what are you doing over there? Unless there is a problem do not bother answering, allow me to take charge of operations at least until tou calm down Neo, and unless you got problems with my absent authority I suggest you stop torturing people at once, and seriously if you cannot control your own people, you better let me back in charge. It is time to turn some things around guys, believe it or not but I found where the Spetz came from and I got em all, as for the Nazi scum they where just hired thugs and as far as my Intel goes most of those where taken down by Nero. Clint Lawman. Moral: "WTF? THESE ARE NOT EVEN MORALS! NO THESE ARE THE CODES WE USED TO AUTHENTICATE THE SOURCE AND SENDER OMG! ORLY? SRLSLY? LOL OMG!"

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how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

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What did the award-winning physicist say to the community college graduate? I'll have Chicken McNuggets please.

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I have a dirty joke. Yesterday I fell in the mud.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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What is the cost of an abortion? 1 life

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I am the best i am the worst My wife was buried in hearse

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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What do you call an armless, legless man hanging on a wall? Art.

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RACIST JOKE Why did the racist cross the road? He wanted to get to the other side.

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What is the diffrence between a jew and a mexican One is a religous practice and the other is a racial diversity

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what has two lags and red all over? :a cat in a chinies restrunt...

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Why didnt the boy go to school? His mum threw a fridge at him!

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a Gay Man Walks Into A Bar And See's its Only Women In There, He Screams And Leaves

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why couldnt the african child eat enough food? he didnt have a mouth.

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A black man texts his wife to tell her that he is going to be late coming home from work.....Just kidding, pay phones cannot send text messages.

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my boloney has a first name its OSCAR, my boloney has a last name its MEYER.. now bend over son while i shove my boloney in ur butt!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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