'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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How does a person with Alzheimers' poem go? Roses are red, Roses are red, Roses are red, Wait, what was I doing?

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why did the man turn on and off the lights 20 times because he was diagnosed with O.C.D as a child

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knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

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What do you call a Gay leprechaun? A homosexual ginger man with a pretty green outfit.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Flowers are colors Love me

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Two Jews walk into a pub. They don't order a ham sandwich.

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How does an elephant climb a cliff who cares

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Four blondes began their road trip from NYC to Europe and promptly drowned.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Names.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? She had no legs. Why did noone help her up? She was fat.

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If a banana is a vegetable, how come your mother gets confused when I stick pretzels in my butthole?

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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Do you know what the forest fire got for Christmas? Your house

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Roses are red, Violates are blue. I have an erection, and its lasted more then three hours

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Knock Knock. You don't have a door.

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What about the cool kids down the block. Their friend just died with a serious health condition.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops