what did the nail say to the hammer? Hit me baby one more time

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Your momma's so stupid, she has a lower than average IQ!

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Josh, this is your mother. I was wondering if you wanted me to bring my lube and strapon to bed tonight. Wait never mind about the strapon because i have my dick to use.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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What's the difference between a pair of slippers and a pair of dead babies? Essentially nothing.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a trunk? 37.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a red head walk into a bar. It is a coincidence that none of them have the same hair colour.

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What is worse than torturing, "forcibly penetrate" and then slowly and painfully kill nine billion people? The Holocaust?

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roses are red , violets are blue, lick my dick , or lick my dick

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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What's worse than a real joke on AntiJoke? The Holocaust

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Nero Octavios reporting, so far all of our sectors worldwide excluding Spain, Italy and Ground Zero are secure, Nero Augustus is severely wounded but will make it, and despite the our intel Necrissa Angelo is alive and well. We have one single worry though Nero7 the brunt force of the terror attack was large and powerful, yet resistance was incredibly light when we went for the counter-strike, too light, we might have to ready ourselves for some sort of reprisal here.

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—Conversation started today— My God, why have you forsaken me? Seen 6:00 PM

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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I like to give help to people, expecting that they will be my slaves for life.

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Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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Man goes to doctor, says he's depressed. The world is bleak and hopeless and life just isn't worth living. The doctor thinks for a second then smiles. "Treatment is simple he says, the great clown Pagliacci is in town. Go see him, that should pick you up." The man bursts into tears, sobs hysterically like a child, "But doctor," he says. "I am Pagliacci."

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What's more absurd than a goldfish astronaut? A jew that cares about palestinians

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken is now getting flowers for her dead children that got hit buy multiple cars, also the chicken is a human mother.

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Kindness is what makes the world go round..... and chocolate.

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Why did the plane crash? Chuck Norris was sitting in it, and thus his weight was countless times larger than the lift force of the plane.

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Why did the Old Lady cross the road? Because the worm selected her as a weapon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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