What's worse than celery stuck between your teeth? A cruise ship stuck between your teeth.

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A depressed man walks into a bar. He has a drink and heads back to his apartment. On the way he was killed by another man attempting to commit suicide due to depression.

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What's worse than seeing Helen Keller behind the wheel of a car? Being run over by Helen Keller.

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An Asian, a redneck, an Irish, and an Iranian walk into a bar. All but the Iranian were asked to go back to the parking lot and park their car to take up only one space.

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Q. What's yellow and sour? A. Not a banana

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Why did Betty fall out of the tree? Because she was dead! ????

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A dog was barking at a tree

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How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb about 4

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what do u call a hairy cow? Harry

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If you call Dani a dog one more time, lick a gooch nut suckers. XoXo Jamie <3

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i hate it when people repeat the same jokes. i just hate it when people repeat the same jokes.

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A black man "walks into" a club. Several minutes later he is dead. The police, in a later press conference, refuse to admit that the club ever left the officer's belt.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What did Little Tommy get for chirstmas? An explanation that Santa is a lie.

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One day, I was talking to a lamp on the phone, when I realized I had called the wrong lamp.

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Are tomatoes more scary than onions? No. They are not more scary than onions.

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What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

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roses are red grass is greener get in the bed and suck on my wiener

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what do you get if you cross a retard with ruddell? andrew ruddel

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What do you call a piece of Swiss cheese with human characteristics? Abnormal.

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What did little Suzy get for Christmas? Molested

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A black man and a Mexican were in a car. Who was driving? The cop.

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3 guys get stuck in a island and find indians and the indians say the three guys have to stick 10 of the same fruits up there or they die. The first guy came back with oranges but stops at 3 then gets killed. the second had grapes and stop at 2 and gets killed. But in heaven the first guy ask why did you stop at 2 there grapes. the second guy said he saw the third with a pineapple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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