Q: How many Jewish people can fit in a four door sedan? A: 4, or possibly 5, depending on the sedan's optional seating, and depending on whether the gentleman are comfortable enough with each other to scoot closer to allow a 5th friend to join in.

A man walks in to a bar, Has a drink, and leaves.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken had been running in the road's direction for some time, and continued travelling in that direction despite the road being in the way.

How do you leave a guy in suspense ...

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A waste of time because they just be playing soccer

Snape dies. ^ Spoiler Alert tarelona major

Why did the young girl fall off her bike? Because somebody threw a fridge at her.

Why did it take Da Vinci so long to paint the Sistine Chapel? Because it was painted by Michelangelo.

Yo momma was so ugly that everybody died.

whats worth than finding half a dead worm in your apple getting rapped by your step dad

What did the Dildo say to the banana? Nothing, unless you're high on acid.

Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

what's worse than 24? 6 million.

What rhymes with milk...milf

A man asked a horse "Why such a long face?" The Horse replies "My entire family just died in a plane crash."

What do you call a clown with no sense of humor? Unemployed.

What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to commit suicide through vehicular manslaughter and knew that the average human being would not be able to stop before it was too late.

What do you call a fat guy? A fata*s mothaf*cka

What's Hitler's favorite drink? Jews (meaning juice)

What did George Washington say to Genghis Khan? Nothing they are both dead.

Variants: :) I will always assist you in whatever you want. :( I want to kill you all by myself! Sense? Non? Fuck? Mind? Fission Mailed? Impossible Mission.

Q: What is brown and sticky and often found in the grass? A: A stick.

The boy gets shot in the face, he then dies of childhood obesity.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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