Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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yo momma!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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Once upon a time there was a man exercising, he pulled a muscle and had to have his heart removed. In other words, don't exercise. The end.

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Why did the bus crash? Because the bus driver was a potato.

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jeff Oh hey Jeff, come on in

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the elephant.

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

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I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

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Why couldnt hellen keller drive because she was a women

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None...they can cook in the dark.

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So a pirate walks into a bar. He sits down, and orders a drink. After giving the pirate a drink, the bartender looks down and notices that there is a steering wheel on the pirate's penis. "Sir, are you aware that there is a steering wheel on your penis?" The bartender asked. "Arrrrrrr, it's driving me crazy!" The pirate replied. "Well you should probably get that checked out soon," said the bartender, "It looks very uncomfortable and could be dangerous to your health...not to mention your penis is out in the open." "Yes, you are probably right," the pirate agreed. He proceeded to get a ride from a friend to the nearest hospital, for drinking and driving can be dangerous, and steering wheels on penises are not safe.

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Joe is a negotiator. When joe sees someone in trouble, he tries to help them out of it by talking. Joe failed to talk to Osama bin laden correctly. Joe is no longer living in this world. Joe drank his sorrows away and died from the alcohol in his body. Osama is completely unrelated to this, his family died in a car crash.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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Why did the woman go in a elevator with Ray Rice? Because they were both going to the 25th floor and stairs would take too long.

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What did the blond say to the other blond? "I like your shoes."

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Yo momma so fat, she's dead.

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what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

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What is the opposite of a joke ? Racism

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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What did the woman say when her boyfriend asked her to marry him? Idk my bff jill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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