Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? Because it could see and hear.

So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

Why can't hank swim? Hank is a rock.

What did the orphan get for christmas? Cancer.

roses are red violets are blue me + you =the perfect 2

How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE TTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNNNSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS I LIKE TRAINS

A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

A Mexican, Asian, and a black guy are on a bridge, the Mexican says there is too much rice and throws some off the bridge, the Asian says there are too many burritos and throw some off the bridge, the Black says there are too many candles in his house and throws his car off the bridge. Everyone was happy and left besides the Black because he threw his car off.

Why doesn't the chicken cross the road Because his dad got ran over by a car when he crossed the road

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

What do you get when you put a woman in a room with 4 guys? She gets Gang Banged.

Q: Why did the mugger kill the bus driver? A: Because he had a gun.

a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

-How do you kill a douche? -You stab him untill he cries out in mercy and stops moving.

what did Tim get for Valentimes day? nothing, no such day exists. spell check

Why did the German burn the Jew? Because he dropped his tea.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? Because her mother inadvertently left the gate open while gardening.

A young boy walked in on his mom and dad in their room lastnight They were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

What do blind people see when they close one eye? Nothing.

What do you call a Welshman with a stick up his arse? A very odd man

whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

How did the Cuban get into Florida? Well he got his passport and other papers, flew in, then went to Customs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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