Why'd Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's There Not Sally Why was the boy sad? Because he dropped his ice cream cone Why'd he drop his ice cream cone? Because he got ran over by a bus Why'd he get run over by a bus? BECAUSE SALLY WAS DRIVING

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you hear the one about the guy who went his whole life without ever telling a joke? He was still funnier than David Letterman.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many dead babies can you fit in a bath tub? 17

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Parent: Please, my son have sinned. Please cleanse him from his sins. Priest: Hmmm, it may be hard to cleanse him from his demons. You may leave him in my car today. We shall enter the dark chambers where we will battle your demons Parent: Thankyou Priest: Alone, in the dark. It will be painful for him, but he shall be cleansed *wink* Parent: whut?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I am going to school I live in Ohio, but I'm at Germany How do I do it? I'm a blonde, nobody knows

thumb_up thumb_down +8

hwhy did the monkey fall out of the tree? he got shot. why did the other monkey fall out of the tree? he was nailed to the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happened when the man turned on his TV? It was tuned to the Discovery Channel

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man went skydiving and tragically died.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A Muslim man gets onto a transatlantic airliner. All the other passengers are privately nervous, but no one mentions it.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why were 5 tall white guys sitting on a bench? They were in the NBA

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red. Violets are blue. The Clouds are white. Thank God I am too.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why couldn't the little boy see? His eyes were closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats included in over 90% of all car crashes? A Car

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q:Why don't black people go on cruises? A:They already fell for that trick once.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you hear about the new XBOX releasing in Mexico. It's called the XBOX JUAN!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He flapped his wings, hovered, and the road crossed beneath him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops