whats worse than someone on the phone during a movie? your mother queefing on your bowl of cheerios

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Who's on first? Garvey.

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A man travels to the park, and kills a person, throws them in a bag and runs away. He then travels to the grocery store, kills 2 people, throws them in a bag and walks away. He then travels to the gas station, kills 3 people and walks away. He keeps traveling around killing people until he has claimed 69 victims in all. From this, we can infer that he was a psychotic murderer with a perverted sense of humor.

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What did the caninibol do when he duped his girlfriend He wiped

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When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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what is black and white and read all over? a bankrupt newspaper that cannot afford color ink because the accountant misplaced company funds.

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What came first? The chicken or the egg? The egg, because breakfast comes before dinner.

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What is grey and transparent? An elephant in a zip-lock bag.

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Haikus are simple but sometimes they don't make sense refrigerator.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson appeared in court several times under charges of child molestation

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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Nerochan, it was really nice chatting with you, I hope we can chat some other time... Please tell me why you are upset with me, just pick up the phone, I mean let me know what I did you wrong.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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Roommate 1: I want to make food but I'm not going to Roommate 2: Why not? Roommate 1: Because I'm tired and lazy.

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eyebrows up means ur flirting this isnt a joke dont laugh

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Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

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Q:How do you get better at boxing? A:Get a bigger package Daniel W. Schnurr

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Have you ever seen the movie called "The Tourist"? No

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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