What do you call a human with no eye? A Human.

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Guess my favourite fruit. Peach.

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want more?

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What would Bruno Mars do if he was on the moon? Gasp and grab his throat in an attempt to get oxygen flowing into his lungs with no avail.

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How do you know when you are really ugly? Objective self-evaluation, and frank, honest discussion with close friends and family.

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Where do babies come from? You fathers penis.

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So you're flying around in your bathtub, how pancakes to shingle a doghouse? Airhockey, because pizza bagels can't cry.

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What did the helicopter say? Aluminum-minum-minum-minum-minum-mum-mum-mum-mum-um-um-um-um

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Why did the dinosaurs become extinct? Because they wanted to.

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Whats funnier than 24. ... DEEZ NUTS.

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what is funnier than 24.....?????? 69. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. IT IS FUNNY BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE ME AND YOUR MAMA

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What makes George Michael gay? The fact he engages in sexual intercourse with other men.

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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What's purple, green, and orange? Dead baby with slashed floaties. What's black, purple, and orange? Same baby two weeks later.

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Why did the gay man buy a prius? because it is a very fuel efficient car and will save him a lot of money of gas

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What's the best way to piss off a feminist? R@pe her.

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Why did the dish run away from the spoon? None of them ran neither one has legs

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Why does Mario grown on shrooms? Because they bloom inside of him.

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Man 1: is that boy high? Man 2: No. He has down syndrome

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is this the krusty krab? no, this is patrick.

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Q. What's cold and has no feelings? A. A pole

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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