A guy finds a genie bottle. He rubs it. A genie appears and grant him 3 wishes. He wishes for a splendid woman, a lot of money, and a house.

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whats the difference between kids and jewish people? kids come home from summer camp

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Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

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Two muffins in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says nothing, because muffins cannot talk.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Dog. Dog who? I have a dog.

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What's big and green and I gets stuck in your teeth will kill you? A tractor

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What does A.D.D stand for? Attention deficit disorder

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Why did the chicken cross the road? 'Cause you touch yourself at night;

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What do you call a place where all hopes and dreams go to die as this place is contained of depression and the lingering smell of death? www.anti-joke.com

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What looks like a penis, smells like a penis and eats penis Nothin ive ever seen

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was black.

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What did the kid with cancer get for his birthday? Nothing he didnt make it that far

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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What are you going to get your mom for mothers day? I have two gay dads.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? The pizza does not scream in the oven

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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what did the obese kid get for chistmas? an athsma attack ,which led to death.

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What did the man say to his doctor?

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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What did the girl tell her abusive boyfriend Girl: You broke my heart! Boyfriend: I'm gonna break your face.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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