Q: How many babies does it take to paint a wall? A:I don't know i was asking you P.S. leave your answer in the comments below :D

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What do a cow and a banana have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

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What's 9 + 10 19 AB

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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What do you call a person with one eye and no arms? Names.

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When life gives you melons you may be dyslexic.

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why did Kanye interrupt Taylor Swift at the VMA's? because he had a little too much scotch before the ceremony

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What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

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What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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how do you make a baby cry? put a nail through its foot

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Jon walked into a bar. Ouch.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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How do you get four gay guys to sit on one barstool? It's quite difficult, it would be easier to just get 3 more barstools.

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knock knock whos there. no one your hullicinating, heroine is hell of a drug

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1 little monkey jumping on the bed, he fell off and hit his head. Momma called the doctor and the doctor said, "Your son died of a concussion."

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? As Suzy neared the ground while swinging, her foot caught a small hole in the swingset's pebble foundation, and the power of Suzy's momentum along with the sudden stop of Suzy's swing forced Suzy to fly forward off of the swing. Suzy, seeing the silliness of her mistake, laughed it off, and tried to get back up. She quickly realized that her leg had snapped in half. Suzy will never walk again.

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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Why did the cop pull over the car full of black people? Because, they were going 65 in a 35 mile per hour speed limit zone, Which is against the law.

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What's worst than finding a worm in your apple Finding half a worm in your apple .....

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because her dad pushed her too hard -Knock knock -Who's there? -Suzie, I'm dead now with a knife through my neck and I'm ready to kill you since you didn't forward that chain letter, now hold still so I can chop off your toes one by one and peel your skin off then leave a bloody mess for your parents -k

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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