There is two guys named tard and retard on a boat in shallow water. they both fall off. Who gets back up onto the boat? - Obviously Tard because ur dealing with a retard here.

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Did you hear the one about the avalanche that crashed into the bar? It was such a tragedy.

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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Is this the Krusty Krab? Yes...? No, you're still Patrick!

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What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

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what food wouldn't you take on holiday with you? any its all inclusive

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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How do you beat Princess Diana in a car race? Challenge Princess Diana to a car race.

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Why did the kid poop his pants? He was a baby

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Knock, Knock Knock, Knock who? Knock, Knock

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun. Get in the van

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Why couldn't the girl eat her pizza? She had no face.

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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I asked her where you were.

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Why did the penis cross the road? Because a man was humping the chicken

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot. You racist.

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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whats the difrence between santa clause and a jew santa goes down the chimney

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Q. What do you call a blonde in a library? A. Lost.

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops