A blonde, a red head, and a brunette are on an island. Due to the law of averages, this isn't that unlikely or significant.

What do you call a Mexican in the sand? A churro! (not trying to be racist, I'm even Mexican)

Obama One Big Ass Mistake America

what do you call a fish with no gills? Dead

wanna hear a joke? me niether.

How many Norwegians does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But all the replacements are high-tolerance, long-life and non-dimmable.

it ain't easy being cheesy Max Harrison

Did you hear about the kidnapping in New York? He woke up.

Knock knock Fuck off!

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

Why are rich people usually fat? They're living large

A Jew, a Christian and a Muslim are on a plane to France. When they arrive in Paris one will go visit a friend who recently found inspiration in the many magical streets of the city and is in the middle of a year abroad. Another will search for a job and home to support himself and any future family that he might choose to have in the future. The last will check into a hotel and proceed to have a wonderful time seeing all the sights that Paris has to offer.

whats worse than getting ran over by a car seeing your mum having sex

What did the piano say to the ice cube? Dude, get back in the freezer or you are going to melt!

Q: What's the difference between an Indian and a Trampoline. A: You take your shoes off to jump on a Trampoline.

oh hai i'm al gore reduce ur carbon footprint lolz

A bus with 12 black guys is driven off a cliff. What is the sad part of this story? ... Our beloved president was not involved.

Finn: Jake, why can your body do all of those magical things? Jake: What do you mean? Finn: Oh never mind. And they both proceeded to enjoy a delicious breakfast.

why did the chicken cross the road because it wanted to get hit by a car

What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

i think dylan is turnimg gay for amy

I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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