How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? I can't remember. I have amnesia from when I was hit by a bus as a child.

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Bob, your neighbor. Okay, come in.

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I am pleased and honored to hear you speak that beautifully straight from your heart Nero, you are without equal, unmatched. And he who is unmatched, also stands alone.

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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A black man logs on to facebook. He checks his news feed then logs off

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What did the you know what screw this I'm sick of making these stupid jokes there all the same. Hang on hang on What did the pirate do to the dog yes This style of joking is so different I'm going to be a famous comedian oh wait there's a whole bloody website full of these. O look another one and another one and another one that knife over there looks really nice right now

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Q: How many dead babies does it take to fill a mixing bowl? A: There is an infinite amount of answers to this question depending on the sizes and shapes or the dead babies, so lets assume that an average would probably be about 4 babies that dies just as the left the mother.

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What is black and blue, with nothing to do? The prostitute in my basement.

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What more orange that a lime? Most things.

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Yo momma so fat that she was diagnosed with obesity and may need medical assistance in the future and will be reliant on you, her child.

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Do you know whats funny to say to someone unless they're black. Your ma's in jail.

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Why did the car get sucked up by the tornado? Because it was in Pilger, Nebraska.

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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What's yellow and smells like cheese? Cheese.

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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Dwarf Shortage

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, but I'm late for work.

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why did the small boy drop his ice cream ? because he has no hands

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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Once, I went to Peru.

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Q: What happens when you throw a glowing purple rock into a bright green stream? A: It makes a splash

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steven hawking walks into a bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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