Doctor, doctor, i feel like a pair of curtains. Well I'm going to refer you to a mental institute and forward this meeting to a specialist due to the schizophrenic attitude and belief you have. However, I will have to ask you to come back in tomorrow or later today for further tests as to why you feel this way. This is highly abnormal and should be fixed immediately. Another further concerns please contact me asap.

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What's worse than watching paint dry or grass grow? Watching paint dry on grass.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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How do you stop a baby falling down a well? Throw a javelin through its forehead.

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Why did the cop stop a black guy with a Rolls-Royce? Because he was speeding while on his phone and going through red traffic lights.

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Mother Theresa, Billy Graham, and Joseph Smith walk into a bar. Just kidding, no they didn't.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow Wanna have sex?

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haha women's rights.....what a joke.

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Why is 6 scared of 9? Because 9 is a zombie.

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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Your mom is so fat that her Body Mass Index is 30,?which is considered obese, she should really try to lose some weight.

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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the world, He broke his foot because every human being that kicks such a solid structure would break their foot.

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why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

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Why do you have to write a conclusion at the end of your paper? So people dont have to read the whole thing.

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A man walks into the bar. It was typical day and nothing interesting happened.

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Why did the dog run away from home? Because the owner left the door open.

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What is the difference between a boyscout and a Jew? Boys outs come home from camp.

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What did the computer say to his girlfriend? I'm going to RAM you tonight.

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what did the astronomer say when he lost his telescope? where is my telescope?

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Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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what happens when u fall down the stairs? you break your arm.

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Nice ass. Too bad it's cracked in the middle, though.

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A duck walks into a bar and orders 2 beers and a shot. The bartender says "That'll be four fifty." The duck says he doesn't have any money and asks if the bartender can put it on his bill. The bartender says "No." He then picked the duck up by the neck and raped him mercilessly. "That's what he gets" one patron said. "Yeah, he was asking for it"

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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