A cat walks into a bar. He orders some beer. The bartender asks, why the sad face. The cat replies, "I got laid off"

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How did Whitney huston die? By eating a turkey sasandwich and then put a car jump starter in the bath tub.

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I am strangling you. Do you see my arms? I AM FREAKEN STRANGLING YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11

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A guy walks into a bar- he walks out of the bar because the beer was expensive and he didn't feel like getting drunk.

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Q:Whats yellow and on the floor in the bathroom? A: A Rubber Ducky

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A fish walked into a bar. Actually it didn't, since fish can't walk.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? she had no arms. Why doesnt she have arms? they got bit off by a shark. Knock knock. Who's there? Not the girl.

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Your mom is so fat, when she farts, I can use her underwear as a hot air balloon

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Why did the tomato fall off the swing? Because tomatoes don't have arms.

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what did the panda say to the poachers? please stop killing my family.

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What's the difference between jumping off of a 2 story building and a 20 story building? You're more likely to die from the latter.

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why couldnt the little boy watch two and a half men? because charlie sheen left and the other guy had surgeery and now has 2 penises

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Your momma's so fat, when Jesus said, "Let there be light!," she had to scoot over.

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Rawan what are you looking at, stop reading this

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Why did the midget cross the road? He needed to buy a ladder

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What did Steve Hagen say to Steve Walters? "We have the same first name."

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Why did Sarah fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.... Knock, Knock, Who's there?: Not Sarah

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Roses are red , Violets are blue You little dumb ass bitch Ain't fuckin' with yoouuuuuu

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Q:How do you sleep with Paris Hilton? A:You don't. she got herpes.

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What do u when life gives u lemons? U put them in your iced tea.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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