Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No Neither has he!

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what did the paraplegic get for his birthday? a bike...

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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Bob: Do you know the difference between beer and women? John: No Bob: Oh

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mary had a little lamb its fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went this joke has no punchline

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What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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What's funny and old? I really do'nt know

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen do? Enough to compromise his health and career

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A man walks into a bar a bartender says, 'why the long face'? the man says 'I just walked into a bar'!!!

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I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

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whats the differnce between madalin macan and batman?...batman returns

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A princess decided to kiss a frog in the hopes that it would turn into a handsome prince, as she found none of her suitors to her taste. The frog was incredibly poisonous and she died of total organ failure three days later.

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What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Skeletons neither have muscles nor brains to control any muscles and therefor cannot transport themselves across a road or any stretch of land for that matter.

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Man 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Man 2: Sure. Man 1: Okay.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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how many dirty stinkin apes does it take to put in a lightbulb? 3 dirty stinkin apes, 1 dirty stinkin ape to put in the lightbulb and 2 dirty stinkin apes to throw feces at each other

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Whats really down a black hole? I don't know...The last person to go down one never came back because he died of AIDS.

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What do you call a spaceman on Mars? Confused, because with the current technology it is impossible to send a human into space and onto Mars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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