A Polish immigrant goes to the Department of Motor Vehicles to apply for a driver’s license. He has to take an eye test. They show him a card with the letters C Z W I X N O S T A C Z. “Can you read this?” the optician asks. “Read it?” the Polish guy replies, “No, sir. Allow me to put on my glasses."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Jamie: Peter your hands smell like cows! Jason: eeh no they smell like cows balls

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar and says, "I'll take a drink."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, violets are red, sunflowers are red, HOLY CRAP, MY GARDENS ON FIRE!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the girl throw away her hairspray? Because she realized the harmful contaminants emitted from the nozzle were expediting the deterioration of the ozone layer thus contributing to global warming.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do Lebron James and Bill Murray have in common? They are both black basketball players. Except for bill murray

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did Alice get revenge on Diane when Diane called her fat? When Alice was pregnant, she stabbed herself in the stomach and blamed it on Diane. Diane was then sent to prison for murder and received a sentence of 25 years. Alice laughed in court, and Diane was forced to commit suicide. Alice then stole Diane's husband, and she lived happily ever after.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you keep an idiot in suspense. I dont' know he still hasn't told me

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If I was in a room with hitler Osama bin laden and Justin bieber and a gun with 2 bullets. I would shoot Justin bieber twice

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I told a priest that I would never believe in anything greater than myself. He said I had the God complex, that I was grandios. I stared him in the eye and asked, "how highly do you think of me? Thank you" and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why did the jockey lose the horse race? he mistook his horse for Sara Jessica Parker

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yeah, but why is this honesty so important for you, personal reasons because you are like that, because you consider me a friend? Or because a single lie, could have catastrophical consequences?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's faster than a Mexican running down the street with your TV? An airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you make a baby stop crying? You throw it out the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Guess what sucks! A Vaccume. Guess what blows! A Sucky Vaccume.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

wat did one chicken say to the other bock bock

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There was three women stuck on an island, a blonde, a brunette and a ranga. They are saved days later.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is pink and stuffy? Pink stuff

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops