what do grown up's do at night when everyone lese is asleep? Go to sleep as well

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the lesbian's house. Knock knock. Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats black red and white. a zebra with a contagious red rash

thumb_up thumb_down +17

We found a cure for cancer. Death

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the new green? Green

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A horse walks into a bar and Shits John Taffer is Pissed

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than taking a final? Getting shot in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy! But here's my switchblade Get in the trunk.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Bill: Hey Bob guess what? Bob:What? Bill: your adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Sharing means caring, Caring is socialism

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did John say to Paul before they entered the car? "Paul, get in the car."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the chicken cross the road? Across the street was a strip mall containing a dry cleaners where he had to pick up his suit for his cousins wedding. The wedding caused controversy in the family considering she was jewish. He had a lot to drink and took a cab home, knowing the dangers of drunk driving in todays society. He had a great time.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Jewish man stop to pick up a quarter off the filthy street? He saw a homeless man begging on the street corner and thought that he could give him the spare change he found.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock Knock Who's There? Jehovah's Witness

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the man say to the other man? I have a large rod

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops